Jon and Kate - 'The Show Must Go On!'

So this was the big announcement that was hyped all week about the special, hour-long “Jon and Kate Plus 8” episode!

Yes, sitting alone on the interview couch, Kate announced “The show must go on!”

I, and everyone else, thought the major announcement would be something dealing with the future of their marriage.

And they did mention that the Gosselin’s were separating, and that “legal proceedings were initiated to dissolve the ten-year marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin” in a Pennsylvania court yesterday. Interestingly, the word “divorce” was never mentioned on the show.

But to me the announcement that stood out the most was Kate’s statement about the show continuing. And if you freeze frame her announcement (as I did), you see the slightest smirk on her face, as she makes the proclamation.

Then there was discussion about the show’s future, which will entail each of them doing their usual activities with the children, but that Jon and Kate will be doing them separately. Of course those activities will entail all sorts of “fun” trips and adventures, all provided for free for the Gosselins, in trade for the product placement.

So the kids will stay in their estate (I mean “house”) which according to both parents was bought strictly for them. Jon and Kate will take turns (according to an unannounced schedule) staying with them.

Where will Jon and Kate be when they are not with the kids? According to several reports Jon is in the process of renting a New York luxury apartment at Trump Tower with a riverside view. One has to wonder where poor Kate will have to live on her “days off.”

The hypocrisy of this show was never more apparent that when Jon (wearing his diamond studs) whined “We have soldiers dying in Iraq, and all they (the paparazzi) care about is what I eat for lunch.”

Of course a segment of the show in practically every episode did focus on the Gosselins preparing and eating lunch. In last night’s show the lunch was a picnic, so the kids could watch the men constructing their “Crooked Houses.” If you didn’t watch the show, don’t ask.

And what about the kids? Well both Jon and Kate assured us that they are terrific and that their future will be nothing but “beautiful” and “peaceful.” What I observed was a bunch of rich kids arguing and bickering on their way to becoming very, very spoiled. Can you imagine what they will be like as teenagers and young adults? Does the name Lindsay Lohan come to mind?

After the big announcement, there was a final segment which was unbelievably ironic. Yes, the whole family was going to an expensive restaurant for a “fine dining brunch.”

It was pouring outside and everyone looked miserable, as Kate yelled at them to pay attention while Cara was ordered to read the menu.

It may be a stretch, and I may have an overly-imaginative mind, but I immediately flashed to the final scene in "Godfather II,” in which Michael Corleone sits alone and looking very sullen, having defeated all his enemies and living in luxury on his gated estate.

TV Tops Movies in 2009!

I know there is a certain segment of the population that loves to brag "I hardly ever watch television."

And a subsection of that segment loves to exclaim "I don't even own a television set!"

My guess is that 99 percent of such people are over the age of 50 and arrived at their opinions about television roughly 30 years ago, before the age of cable. At that time most people had the choice of watching three network channels and perhaps one or two independent UHF stations.

Television programming was aimed at the lowest common denominator, trying to attract the absolute largest viewing audience. So, schedules were clogged with such sitcoms as "Beverly Hillbillies," and "My Mother the Car," and insipid shows like "Donny and Marie" or "The Love Boat."

Were there some quality programs produced during the so-called "Golden Age of Television?" You bet. I roared while watching "Sergeant Bilko" with my dad in the 1950s, as well as Sid Caesar's "Your Show of Shows," and "The Honeymooners."

"The Twilight Zone" was great entertainment, and I am sure such series as "Playhouse 90" or "Climax!" produced some excellent dramas, although being a child I never watched them.

But with a choice of only a few shows to watch, it was not uncommon for many people to come to the conclusion that television stunk.

Things began to change in the 1970s, with the Norman Lear-produced sitcoms such as "All in The Family," "Maude," and "The Jeffersons," which took on subjects like racial prejudice and abortion, never before dealt with on the tube. Then came the fabulously funny "Mary Tyler Moore" and "The Bob Newhart" shows. And, of course, Saturday Night Live," premiered in 1975.

But what really changed the face of television was the invention of cable. Today, if you subscribe to cable or have a satellite dish you can easily pick up anywhere from 100 to 400 channels, and before you make the joke "I still can't find anything decent to watch," I challenge you to carefully go through your three page long channel guide.

Sure, there are some excruciatingly stupid and pointless shows. Interestingly enough, many of the absolute worse ones are still produced by the broadcast networks. Can you get any more insipid than "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here!" or "Deal or No Deal?"

And if you are one of the many people who brag "I have never watched one second of "American Idol," good for you.

But no matter how much of an intellectual snob you are, don't tell me you can't find fascinating shows to watch on the National Geographic, Discovery, History, Travel, or Science networks or dozens of similar channels that cater to almost any taste, and that includes one of my favorites, The Food Network.

I won't even mention the thousands of movies and shows that are offered free "On Demand," or the fact that with TiVo or a DVR, you can watch your favorite shows whenever you want and best of all you can fast forward through the commercials! And then there is the "invention" of HDTV and the amazing picture quality that it offers.

But what I love most about television these days is the quality of some of the programming (yes, I said "some") that is offered primarily on the "Premium Channels" like HBO and Showtime. You can have your movies that end in a predictable two hours, usually with a computer-generated car chase and explosions.

I'll take the drama and plot twists that stir and stimulate the imagination when you follow a series like "The Sopranos," "Dexter," "The Wire," or "Six Feet Under" over several seasons!
Even the networks come up with occasional gems like "House," "Lost" and "24."

These series are so far superior to what passes for drama in the movies these days it's not even close. In 2007 when the American Film Institute came up with their 100 Greatest Movies of the past 100 years, the ONLY film from this century listed was 2001's "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring," which was ranked 50th.
As for comedies, I laughed more at "Curb Your Enthusiasm," "The Larry Sanders Show," "Entourage," "Weeds," and even NBC's "The Office" than any Jim Carrey or Adam Sandler movie of the past decade.

So you can have your movie theaters with people yakking on their cell phones, $10 ticket prices, and a handful of change out of a $20 bill when you buy popcorn and a soda. Moreover, when I have to go to the bathroom, they won't even pause the movie for me!

Finally though let's compare the products being offered this summer both at the movies and on television.

The fact is that summer movie fare is not aimed at adults; rather it's aimed at teenagers who just want to get out of the house and away from their parents. So what are the most hyped movies this summer? I did some research and came up with a list that includes yet another entry in the Harry Potter, Terminator, Star Trek, Transformers, and Superman franchises.
How creative! Oh here's something new and exciting, a "Captain America" movie. Wow!

The summer television season is kicking off this week, and while the schedule is packed with lots of trash, I personally can't wait for such series as "Mad Men," "Weeds," "True Blood," and "Entourage" to return.

And by the way microwaved popcorn is a lot better than it used to be.

'Jon and Kate': Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous

After last week’s “train wreck,” I had to watch Monday night’s two half hour episodes of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” to see what kind of drama would ensue.

As I wrote last week, what once was a sweet, cute, and funny family show had evolved into a tearful drama that had reminded me of “Celebrity Rehab.”

Season Five’s first show drew amazing ratings, along with all sorts of national publicity. In fact yesterday’s USA Today had two relatively long (for the “nation’s newspaper”) articles about the show.

So when 9 p.m. rolled around I could not wait to see what was going to happen. Would Kate totally melt down? Would Jon be seen frequenting a strip club in Vegas?

But I am sorry to say the show had morphed into a third incarnation. And in one word, it was boooring!

Yes, “Jon & Kate Plus 8” has basically become “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”…or MTV’s “Cribs.”

In the first exciting episode, we got to see a surprise birthday party visit to the Food Network’s “Ace of Cakes” set. The party was supposedly arranged by the two 8 year old twins, Mady and Cara. Nice cross promotion for TLC’s sister station.

Of course Jon was not there, as he had decided to go snowboarding in Utah at the National Ability Center, an organization that helps disabled children experience the slopes.

Not to sound too cynical, but do ya’ think this might have been arranged to improve Jon’s party-boy image? By the way, was I the only one speculating if anything was “happening” between Jon and the cute blonde staff member Tracey?

I can just picture the planning meeting with the show’s producers.

Jon: “I can’t take another birthday party, especially for that ‘b..tch.’ I’ve got to get thousands of miles away. How about sending me to Vegas or Hollywood?”
Producers: “No, our focus groups show that people are starting to hate you. So you’re going to ski with handicapped kids in Utah.”
Jon: “Well, just make sure there is an attractive blonde there!”

We also got to see wonderful shots of Kate working hard, meeting her fans at book signings. And yes, she admitted to several adoring fans that indeed she did miss being with her kids. By the way, I have to wonder who is doing Kate’s makeup and hair this season. Could it possibly be Adam Lambert’s stylist?

In the second show, Jon was the parent staying home with the eight kids. (You see, raising eight children apparently only requires one parent being on hand at a time.)

So we had lots of shots of the grounds of their estate, and the children riding around in their battery-powered cars. I kept flashing back to one of my favorite comic books when I was a kid…”Richie Rich.” For drama, we got to see little Alexis fall and bite her lip.

And where was Kate? Well, when eight year old Mady said she wanted to spend some alone time with mom, instead of a trip to the local mall, they immediately jetted off to San Diego for four days of spa treatments and trips to the beach.

We discovered that Mady prefers pedicures to manicures! Now I started wondering if little Paris Hilton took similar trips with her mommy when she was eight.

So I was wrong about any comparison between this show and “Celebrity Rehab.” I think it’s just a matter of time before we see Kate teaming up with Donald Trump and appearing on “Celebrity Apprentice.”

And I would not bet against her winning!

Jon & Kate Plus 8: The Train Wreck

I sat down with my daughter to watch the Season 5 premiere of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” last night.By the end of the show I felt like I was watching an episode of “Celebrity Rehab,” and my daughter was fighting back tears.

What was once a cute, funny, and somewhat endearing show about a couple raising two sets of multiples has turned into a train wreck. I feel especially bad for those fans of the show (like my daughter) who watched the first four seasons because they had fallen in love with the eight kids. (My daughter’s favorite was little Hannah.)

I had enjoyed watching with my family, because I got a kick out of the interaction between Jon and Kate. Some of you may remember that I actually once praised their relationship in a column, writing:

“Jon and Kate have morphed into a couple that is totally honest and open with one another. They have developed a relationship built on trust, so much so that they can say almost anything to each other without producing the type of lingering feelings that fester and destroy so many relationships.”

Apparently I was wrong.

But what bothered me most about last night’s episode (which probably garnered the highest rating in their history, as the public squabbling between Jon and Kate has been tabloid fodder for the past six months) is the total hypocrisy that the show represented on so many levels.

Kate’s anger at the media and the paparazzi for intruding on their privacy is almost laughable.How do you invite the cameras into your home for five years and then constantly complain that you are getting too much media attention?

Then there is Kate herself, the mother of eight kids, who now is focused upon her career, which I guess entails traveling around the country making speeches, pushing her books (full of Bible quotes by the way), and selling a variety of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” products. Apparently she is not home much these days.

Of course there is Jon’s hypocrisy admitting that he needs an escape from the spotlight, and that he has “made some mistakes,” while photos of dear old dad canoodling with young women in nightclubs have appeared on the covers of tabloids for months.

If ever a show demonstrates the adage that “money is the root of all evil,” it is this one. In early seasons, with the family packed into a small house and wearing jeans, the show exuded a feeling of love and warmth.

Now in Season 5, there was Jon driving up in his white sports car, Kate wearing designer clothes and expensive jewelry, and the family living on a $1.1 million dollar estate. (Jon supposedly is living in an apartment over the garage.)

Overall, the premier episode was full of tears and sadness. Even though Kate had planned an especially gaudy (even by her standards) 5th birthday party for the sextuplets, the whole show oozed emptiness. And what was especially empty were the classic interview scenes on a couch, as Jon and Kate each were interviewed sitting by themselves.

So why did they agree to a fifth season, with their world crumbling around their family? How does $75,000 an episode sound? After all, the upkeep on that estate must cost quite a bundle. Moreover, they better save up for all the therapy sessions those kids will need in a few years.

When the show ended last night, my daughter said she probably won’t watch it anymore. But I am hooked. After all, I never missed an episode of “Celebrity Rehab!”
Labels: Jon and Kate, paparazzi, relationships

Why Kris Allen Will Win 'American Idol'

Every season on "American Idol" Simon repeats the phrase "This is a singing competition" countless times.

I hate to disagree with the Chief Justice, but I must. When it comes to the final vote, "American Idol" is no longer a singing competition. Now it is a popularity contest. And that is why I think Kris Allen will win.

Sure, early on when the judges are narrowing the field, their decisions may be based upon how well someone sings. But as America votes, how well someone actually sings becomes less and less important each week.

As the field narrows down to the final three or four performers, they all can sing (at least this year), and most will have recording careers with a relatively high degree of success. (Oh my, am I beginning to sound like Paula?)

By the time we reach the finals, the voting comes down to calculating who has the largest group of fans, and it becomes strictly a numbers game.

Frankly there is little doubt in most people's mind that this season of "American Idol" belongs to Adam Lambert. As I have written before, he is certainly the best "entertainer," and no matter who wins next week, he will have the biggest career. When people look back on the 2009 "Idol" competition, it is Adam Lambert who will be most remembered.

But I don't think he will win. IF Ryan Seacrest was telling the truth (and I am always a little suspicious of his statistical claims) that fewer than 1 one million votes separated Adam and Kris' totals last week, then the most important factor is determining who will capture the most Danny Gokey votes.

It seems very apparent that a vast majority of the conservative, down to Earth, nice guy, Midwestern Gokey vote will swing over to Kris Allen, a down-home country boy from Conway, Ark. Of course Kris will easily retain his base, the young girls who swoon at his cute, boy-next-door looks.

(I know I am beginning to sound like Wolf Blitzer on CNN analyzing a presidential primary battle between Barack and Hillary.)

Adam is someone who generates strong feelings from people pro and con. Again, as I have written before, there certainly is a segment of the voting population that generates an anti-Adam vote. (I doubt if there are any "anti-Kris" voters.)

So now 100 percent of the anti-Adam votes will swing to Kris, and I predict he will win the competition fairly easily.

Having said that, I personally prefer Adam Lambert, and when all is said and done, even though Kris Allen will win the "Idol" crown, I predict that it is Adam Lambert who will become the biggest star to graduate from "American Idol," not just for this season but also from seasons past.

Finishing the 'Lost' Puzzle

I love doing 2,000 piece jigsaw puzzles, though when you first break open the box and begin the hunt for all the straight-edged border pieces, the process is rather tedious.

But as one progresses, and you begin to fit together certain sections, such as the blue, cloud-scattered sky, the row of towering trees, or the large red barn in the foreground, it starts to become much more interesting. (At least to puzzle freaks like myself.)

After working on such a puzzle for weeks or perhaps months, the exhilaration crescendos as you approach the final stages. Everything speeds up, as fewer pieces remain, and chunks of pieces fit together.

A similar sense of excitement is what I and my fellow “Losties” are now feeling as “Lost’s” two-hour season 5 finale will be aired this evening (Wednesday, May 13) at 8 p.m.

I consider the show the best network television drama of all-time. (I differentiate network series from cable series, as such commercial free cable shows as “The Sopranos,” “Dexter,” ‘The Wire,” and “Six Feet Under” stand in a class by themselves.)

But for network television, “Lost” is far superior to most if not all of the somewhat mindlessly-juvenile shows produced by NBC, ABC, CBS, and of course Fox.

While I enjoyed the first couple of seasons of “Lost,” at times it seemed like the show was just going in circles. But once the producers set a definite end date and decided to begin moving the plot line forward much more rapidly, I and millions of other fans got caught up in the complexities of a show that is unbelievably complex.

When I say “fans,” I recognize that there are three categories of people who watch “Lost.” Of course like all television shows there are probably some casual fans, though I have difficulty imagining how anyone can just casually or occasionally watch this show.

The casual fan group probably consists mainly of those people for whom the show became far too complex, as the flashbacks of the early years turned into flash forwards, and this season morphed into just plain flashes, as the Island moved back and forth in time, dragging its protagonists along, like shoes tied onto the rear of a “Just Married” car.

(No, that is too simple of an analogy; a better one would have those shoes bouncing back and forth from the road to the closets where they temporarily lived and back to the shoe store where they were purchased, and then back to the road, and then back to the factory where they were created, and then on to the feet…well, you get the point.)

In any case, most of those casual fans probably no longer watch the show. Again, I can’t picture someone just skipping a few weeks and then saying “Maybe I’ll catch ‘Lost’ tonight, just to see if Jack and Kate are still together.”

The next category of “Lost” fans is probably the largest, and I would include myself as a member. We are people who are obsessed with “Lost,” watch every episode at least once and usually twice, and make a serious effort to try and figure out exactly what is happening and where the show is going.

We love the characters, and I mean practically ALL of the characters. I have never watched a television show that had such a large ensemble cast and felt so involved with so many of them.
Here are just a few of my favorites. I can’t get enough of Ben, trying to figure out if I should love, hate, or pity him. And how cool is Hurley, who always says just what I (and most of the viewers) am thinking, seconds before he says it?

Then there’s bad boy Sawyer, with his nicknames for everyone and Richard Alpert, he of the eyelashes that most women would die for.

Of course I was devastated when Charlie drowned and when Daniel Faraday was fatally shot by his mother, Eloise, while she was pregnant with him (if that doesn’t make any sense to you, don’t ask), and Locke, who is an enigma wrapped inside a riddle.

Then there’s Kate. Even though I am happily married, I would run off with “Freckles” in a minute if she snapped her fingers, and my wife knows that but doesn’t care, because I know that she would leave me in a nanosecond if Sayid just whistled.

Anyway, do I understand all the plot twists and turns? Not really, but like most obsessed fans, I am going along for the ride and enjoying every moment. And when on my second viewing of an episode I finally figure out the significance of a particular reference to something that happened in Season 3, it is the same feeling I have when realizing that I can fit that section of flowers perfectly into the lower left corner of my jigsaw puzzle.

Finally, there is the third group of “Lost” fans whose extreme obsession with the show borders almost on psychosis. These are the fans who watch each episode in slow motion, freeze framing every moment in an airport scene so they can point out that while Jack was in line at the ticket counter, his dead father’s ex-girlfriend’s boss was reading a book whose title is an obscure reference to something that will occur three years from now.

I am not sure how large this group is, but I do enjoy perusing the “Lost” bulletin boards where they post their findings, and I must admit I have learned a great deal about the show by reading some of their postings.

So tonight is the season finale, and we know that one more season remains. I do believe with absolute certainty that I will watch tonight’s show and there will be moments when my mouth will drop open in shock and awe. I have absolutely no anxiety that tonight will produce a “Seinfeld-like” letdown.

And tomorrow morning I will read some of the psychotic fans’ postings to try and better figure out what actually happened. Then I will go into “Lost” withdrawal, having to wait about 8 months for the final season to begin.

Unless I can figure out a way to move the lever in the basement of my house so I can flash forward my television set to next February, and hopefully discover whatever happened to Bernard and Rose.

'American Idol' Prediction

The assignment from Gina Carbone was simple: "Whom do you pick to win 'American Idol' this season?"

Gina knows an easy mark when she meets one. After all, last season she wrote a piece stating "Why David Cook would win," opposite an article I wrote guaranteeing that David Archuleta would win. Earlier this season I wrote an article predicting that Anoop Desai would win.

So carrying a miserable 0 for 2 track record, here are my predictions as we head into "Idol's" Final Four.Even though he was in the bottom three last week, I predict with absolute certainty that Adam Lambert will make the finals. Without question he is by far the most talented performer remaining, and I firmly believe that he will become the biggest star to emerge from this season.In fact I further predict that Adam Lambert will eventually sell more records (or downloads or ringtones, or whatever it is that singers sell these days) and become more popular than any "American Idol" alum, and that includes Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Daughtry, and Jennifer Hudson.

He has a unique quality that is very, very rare. I doubt if Adam will ever become as big as "The King," (nobody will), but from the very beginning he reminded me of a young Elvis. Maybe it's the jet black hair or perhaps the pure, raw energy that he exudes.

(Actually I can easily envision Adam in two or three decades resembling an older, bloated Elvis, performing in glitzy Vegas hotel showrooms in front of screaming middle aged women who would be today's teenagers.)Having said all that, I am fairly confident that Adam Lambert will NOT win the "Idol" crown this year. He is an entertainer that most people either love or hate, and when it comes down to a one-on-one competition in the finals, he will lose.

Either Allison Iraheta will win, capturing the female and anti-Adam votes; or Kris Allen will win, capturing the heartthrob and anti-Adam votes; or Danny Gokey will win, capturing the down to Earth regular guy, sympathy, and anti-Adam votes. (OK, Gina, if I have to pick someone, I'll go with Gokey.)

The irony is that whomever of the three actually wins, I am confident that person will eventually fall into the Ruben Studdard, Taylor Hicks, Jordin Sparks, and David Cook category of mediocre, soon to be forgotten "American Idol" winners.

And this season's runner up, Adam Lambert, will become the biggest star of all!