'Jon & Kate' the Finale...Finally!

I mumbled to my wife, “Well, tonight's “Jon& Kate Plus Eight” is absolutely, positively, the final episode.”
Her reply? “Good.” Then we watched the show, and at the end I looked over and she was wiping tears away, just as Kate was doing the same during her final “couch interview.” elated Stories
Kate had just repeated for about the umpteenth time during the episode phrases like “it didn't have to end,” and “I feel like its being taken away from me and the kids,” and “it's too soon for the show to end.”
Then they showed a montage of clips ranging from Kate's grotesquely large stomach when she was pregnant with the sextuplets, to the babies in their cribs, to her and Jon playing with the kids during much happier times.
And I turned to my wife and remarked, “yeah, but the show really had to end after the fiasco of the past year.”
She then replied, “well, when you write about it, try not to be too sarcastic.”
Being an obedient husband, I will try to be nice, but it's difficult. Very difficult.
Again I have to mention, as I did last week, that Jon and TLC are involved in back and forth law suits, and it is obvious that the show's producers are doing everything possible to portray Kate as the innocent victim and Jon as the villain.
Last night the episode titled “It's a Crazy Life, but It's Our Life,” started off with a close up of the sign Jon posted on the gate of their estate saying that the TLC crew was now banned from shooting any more footage on their property; therefore pointing out that it's Jon's fault that the show is ending.
For the past month, “J&K” episodes have focused on poor Kate sitting on the interview couch, telling her side of the story, answering viewers' questions, and commenting on the viewers' choices of their favorite moments.
Last night Jon finally was given a chance to talk, and his interview was edited down to a minute or two, in which he “confessed” his sins. While Kate was perfectly coiffed and dressed, Jon looked somewhat disheveled, and while listening to his acceptance of blame, I was reminded of videotapes of American prisoners in Iraq being forced to confess while hooded figures loomed in the background threatening to behead them.
Jon stated while wringing his hands “I think I became more educated about myself and what I've learned the past couple months about myself. I always looked for blame and I never really took blame and now I'm taking blame. I can own up to it, I gotta stop being a kid; I gotta grow up and be a man.”
Jon then related that he had gotten married at 22 and when he was “free” last year he reverted back to being 23 and didn't think about the consequences of his actions. (It was hard to tell if Jon was reading off a teleprompter.)
Following this “confession,” Kate calmly explained “I've been thrown in the same boat with Jon, but I'm in a completely different boat, going in a completely different direction.” Good for you Kate.
So now we get it…everything that happened in the past year was due to Jon's immaturity.
To further belabor the point, Kate went on to say she somewhat distrusted Jon's behavior with the kids. They then cut to a scene in which nine year old Maddy whines “I like stuff we do with Mommy.” Jon then loses it, yells at Maddy and Cara, and punishes them by forbidding them from accompanying the family to the firehouse where they will be setting up a lemonade stand.
Of course we all know that Kate never yells at the kids (oops sorry, I am being sarcastic again).
But the topper of it all was that after Jon and the sextuplets sold lemonade to raise money for local firefighters, Kate questioned his motives and had the nerve to actually ask “Is it a publicity stunt?” Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!
The final Gosselin family adventure involved Kate taking just the sextuplets to a neighbor's farm, where everyone had a great time milking cows and playing with kittens. Of course Kate had to point out that that the reason Maddy and Cara did not accompany them was because they were in school, and she would definitely be taking the twins on a separate trip to the neighbor's farm.
Anyway, that was the series finale, and I predict that the next time we see Kate Gosselin she will be starring in her own talk show, probably on TLC. Hey didn't Oprah announce that she will be ending her show in 2011?
And poor Jon will probably wind up on a future episode of “Celebrity Rehab.”

TLC Airs Biased 'Jon & Kate' Episode

It's all over the news, at least in the “Jon & Kate” world, that TLC is suing Jon and Jon is counter-suing TLC…or something like that. It really doesn't matter who is suing whom.
So I wasn't surprised that in Monday's penultimate (a fancy word for second to last) episode of “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” the show was edited to portray Jon Gosselin in the worst possible light.
The episode, titled “Broken Dreams, Broken Promises, Broken Episodes” included footage shot over the past nine months that were going to be parts of various episodes, but were never aired for a variety of reasons; the main one being that the show's ratings are in the toilet.
I can just envision Kate and the TLC executives chuckling and editing the footage to depict Jon as lazy and irresponsible and Kate as a burgeoning rock star. Now I am certainly not defending Jon or his actions over the past year. But last night's show was so one-sided that it can be compared to Fox News coverage of an Obama health care speech.
(OK, I will try and be fair and balanced. Last night's show was so one-sided that it can be compared to MSNBC coverage of a Sarah Palin press conference. Everyone happy?)
The two most anti-Jon segments (which I am sure Kate's lawyers will try and enter as evidence if their divorce somehow goes to trial), were one called “Dog Training” and one called “Soccer and Swimming.”
In the former, Kate says “I kind of left it (the dog training) to him and not a lot of training occurred,” implying that it was Jon's laziness that led to the family having to return the two German Shepherds to the kennel. Kate added “It takes a whole lot of work, energy, training and time…and as the dogs got bigger they got worse.”
There were also shots of Jon manning the electronic dog collars for the dogs followed by Kate (probably auditioning for her inevitable talk show) then quipping “maybe we should have used a collar for other people.”
In the “Soccer and Swimming” segment Kate complained that Jon doesn't do “projects” with the kids, followed by a shot of Maddy whining “I don't want to play with Daddy.” Kate added that “he is on the phone a lot.” Cut to a shot of one of the little girls begging Jon for a Popsicle, while he ignores her and texts on his cell phone. Kate then asserted that Jon's phone usage involves calls to “friends,” while when she is on the phone it involves work.
There was also a rather lengthy shot of Jon yakking it up with the evil paparazzi while the kids wanted to go swimming.
Moreover, to demonstrate how popular Kate is with her fans, there was a segment titled “Book Tour” that showed her speaking before a cheering throng at a Southern Women's Conference in North Carolina and later at a book signing where one couple admitted to standing in line for 12 hours to finally meet their idol!
Finally we all saw how big Kate's heart is, as she prepared dinner for the families at the Ronald McDonald House, and later announced that “dinner is served from ‘Jon and Kate Plus Eight'…minus Jon.” Of course the TLC crew laughed at all of her quips.
So now only one episode remains, and supposedly it will include both Jon and Kate together, and according to a report in the NY Post, this “sitdown” will "provide new insights on their recent life events" and forecast "what the future holds for them and their eight children.”
I hope things turn out better than Michael Corleone's “sitdown” with Sollozzo and Captain McCluskey in “The Godfather.” Watch out Jon if Kate excuses herself to go to the bathroom!

Reviewing the Viewers' Choices of Favorite ‘Jon & Kate' Moments

Against my better judgment I decided to DVR Monday night's episode of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” and watch it a day later. Yes, for those of you who are interested enough in the comings and goings of the Gosselins to be reading this article, TLC is still airing new “J & K” episodes.
BUT, stealing a strategy from “Lost,” TLC has announced an end date for this (apparently) final season of “Jon & Kate Plus 8.” A blurb on the screen the other night stated that there are only two more new episodes. Therefore, if my math is correct, the final “J & K” show will be aired on But back to Monday's show. For the third consecutive week it centered around Kate, sitting alone on a couch. Instead of answering viewers' or an interviewer's questions (like she did the last two weeks), Kate commented on a compilation of “Viewers' Top Moments” from the show's five seasons, as taken from a TLC.com poll.
Watching these moments did bring back some memories of why my family and I were drawn to the show in the first place, along with more recent memories of why so many people have turned against the show in the past year. Even Kate commented that these memories would include “the good, the bad, and the ugly.”
So, counting backwards, David Letterman-style, here is a recap of the top ten moments, divided by categories (along with some of Kate's comments):
10) “Biggest Blow-Up” – Kate's explosion at Toys “R” Us, where she screams at Jon to “stop playing with toys and come help!” Jon responded (perhaps in a foreshadowing of events to come) “you need to stop yelling.” On the couch, Kate admitted that seeing that scene when it first aired was a “wakeup call” for her, and she claimed that she never yelled at Jon in public again.
9) “Cutest Kid Moment” – Alexis in her crib saying “Hi Mommy, hi Mommy,” when Kate returned from the hospital after her tummy tuck. I must admit it was a really cute and touching scene. Kate commented it was her all time favorite moment.
8) “Top Ouchie Moment” – Alexis falling in the woods and biting through her lip while Kate was in San Diego with daughter Maddy. “It breaks my heart that I wasn't there,” was Kate's comment. At least she wasn't at a book signing.
7) “Top Family Milestone” – First visit to the dentist with all eight kids. It was cute the way that the eight kids sat in the dentist's chair, two by two, holding hands.
6) “Cutest Kid Sayings” – Leah reporting that “Hannah pooped in Hannah's underwears” while they were in the process of being potty-trained. I thought it somewhat ironic that the runner up was Joel saying that “Daddies have wieners.” Another case of foreshadowing? Enough said.
5) Top Family Portrait – The picture of the sextuplets as babies in strollers in front of their first much smaller house. The house was much smaller than their current estate, Kate looked much less attractive, BUT everyone looked so happy back then.
4) Most Heartwarming Moment – Hannah saying goodbye and kissing her brothers and sisters. Kate said it demonstrated the “love all parents hope that kids will have for each other.” Being a parent myself, I agree.
3) Most Memorable Meltdown - They showed several of Kate's meltdowns, but the winner took place on their plane ride to Utah, with all the kids crying and Jon and Kate having just heard the announcement that they were going to have to land in Boise, Idaho instead of Utah. “I just had had enough and didn't care about the cameras” was a telling comment by Kate. She then added “Although I felt like I had a lot of stress in my life then, (uh) I had seen nothing yet.”
2) Best Family Trip – Their trip to Hawaii, although on Monday's show they failed to mention this is when Jon and Kate renewed their wedding vows, and it was just over a year ago.
1) Most Shocking Moment -After all the cute and tender family moments, again it is ironic that the number one moment (as voted by viewers) was Jon and Kate announcing their separation. On Monday's show, Kate then said “You get married young, you don't know who you are…At some point you get older and people change …I am different but I still think I was me all along. For Jon, I think that he discovered he is somebody different from whom we knew him to be.”
So now we know that next week's show is called “Gymnastic and Baseball,” and the final “Jon & Kate” show, which will be aired three days before Thanksgiving, will probably be yet another recap show.
And then the show will finally end…or will it? After all, as many times as Jason has been done in, the “Friday the 13th” franchise is still alive.

'Jon & Kate': The Show that Won't Die!

Last week I speculated that the one hour “Viewers Ask Questions” interview with Kate Gosselin would be the final show of the “Jon & Kate Plus 8” saga.
Boy was I wrong. Unlike even some vampires (i.e. Godric on “True Blood”), this is a show that won't die. Desperate for ratings, I guess that TLC plans on squeezing every little drop of blood out of the Gosselin family. (And how ironic is it that “TLC” actually stands for “The Learning Channel?”)
So last night we were treated to another one hour interview with Kate; this time the interview was conducted by Natalie Morales of NBC News, supposedly to give the interview more credibility. Of course we all know that the “news” today is more fluff than substance. And full of fluff is the best way to describe the softball questions (with no follow-ups) that Ms. Morales tossed Kate's way.
Somehow I just can't picture Edward R. Murrow or Mike Wallace conducting the same interview.
So once again we got to hear how Kate loves her children, would do nothing that would ever harm them, and that she originally signed up to do a reality show, not to be a “tabloid staple.” Oh, and that her and the paparazzi have a “hate-hate” relationship.
While tears welled up in Kate's eyes as she paused to answer questions about Jon's infidelities, her middle of the night meltdowns, and the positive and negative lessons she has learned (I guess it is “The Learning Channel” after all), there were moments I had difficulty hearing what she was saying, because of the jangling of her jewelry while she wiped her eyes.
I also became distracted by her contrived speech patterns that I first noticed weeks ago during an interview with Larry King.
So do I believe that Kate only cares about her children's welfare? No I don't.
Do I watch too many Jon and Kate interviews? Absolutely.
Do I regret watching all of these interviews? Absolutely.
(Excuse me while I try and contain myself for a moment.)
Okay, here's what I thought was the most interesting aspect of last night's interview, and that involves the questions that Ms. Morales asked dealing with Kate's relationship with her parents and siblings.
First Kate mentioned that she was the middle of five children, and that she was “the forgotten child.” (Hmm, could this have anything to do with her decision to get on a reality show?)
When asked about her current relationship with her parents, Kate said that it was basically an email one, and that they do not talk. But what I found most telling is the fact that this split between Kate and her family (apparently only one sister now supports her) happened NOT in the past year, but long ago.
In fact Kate admitted that her falling out with her parents occurred after the sextuplets were born, but BEFORE the television series! Kate's explanation of the problems with her parents was “that was the beginning of me realizing everyone has an opinion and sometimes those opinions aren't my opinions….and at that time I felt like it was best just to step back and take a break.”
Wow! So she basically decided to confine her relationship with her parents (and the children's grandparents) to emails because of a difference of opinion! Can you imagine if all of us did that with parents and siblings?
Back to the most important subject: Kate's future in television. First I must mention that I thought Kate looked just “mahvelous” during this interview. Obviously it's just a matter of time until her talk show premiers.
Anyway, checking my channel guide, it appears that TLC will continue to come up with new shows from already filmed footage.
Next Monday we will be treated to an hour-long episode titled “Viewers' Top Moments,” and the following Monday there will be two half hour episodes, “Gymnastics & Basketball” and “Never Before Seen.”
So it appears that this “Jon & Kate” saga may truly be a “Never Ending Story,” at least as long as the ratings hold up.

Kate's Interview: A Farewell, An Interview, or Both?

Last night Kate Gosselin sat by herself on a “love seat” (hmmm) and answered “any and all reasonable questions” from viewers.
In all probability the one hour TLC “special,” was actually the final episode of the five season run of “Jon & Kate Plus 8.” Ironically for a show that has received as much hype and attention as any reality show in the history of television, the series ended “not with a bang but a whimper.”
Although there has been no official announcement from TLC execs, the planned spinoff series titled just “Kate Plus 8” will not return next week as originally scheduled, since Jon has exercised his parental rights to halt any further taping of his eight children.
For those of you who still want to watch cutesy shows about the kids visiting horse farms and petting zoos (and there aren't too many of you left), there is still a chance that the show will be continued in the future, pending the results of a breach of contract suit that TLC has filed against Jon.
But I wouldn't hold my breath, though I am sure that “Jon & Kate Plus 8” reruns will continue for years to come…as long as the ratings hold up.
In all probability last night's Kate interview was really an audition by Kate for her own talk show. And Kate somewhat confirmed that prospect. When asked about her future career plans, since she certainly needs a large income stream to support her eight kids and the upkeep for their million dollar estate, Kate played down any possible return to her former nursing career.
I guess not too many single nurses can afford the staff it takes to run an estate, let alone to feed eight growing children.
So Kate plans to remain in the celebrity spotlight, though throughout the show she certain did not hide her disdain for the paparazzi and the gossip magazines and television shows that hire them.
No, Kate wants to continue in television, stating "I've done enough years on TV that I feel like it's a normal, comfortable, natural place to be." Of course TLC is not about to lose the person who almost single handedly put the channel on the map.
And supposedly a Kate Gosselin talk show is well in the works. Look out Ellen and Oprah!
But like many television “stars,” Kate also stated that she would like to move on to the silver screen and make movies. How about casting her in a modern day remake of Shakespeare's “Taming of the Shrew?” (Sorry Kate fans, my fingers just typed that suggestion, I could not stop them.)
Kate added that she would also like to be a voice for a cartoon character in an animated movie for her kids. How about the Sea Witch Ursula in a new version of “The Little Mermaid?” (Whoops, there go my fingers again.)
Kate answered a bunch of other questions from viewers with all the right answers. To summarize, yes the kids are doing great and are very happy. No, the taping over the years has not harmed them in any way. Yes, there is plenty of money already put away for the children's education needs. Yes, we still love the dogs we adopted, though we had to return them to the kennel, but we hope to get them back someday. Yes, I like my current hairstyle, but (big announcement!) I am considering making some changes. I can't help it; I have developed an addiction to wearing high heels. Yes, I do flip out at times, but what mother of five or more children doesn't?
And yes, a year ago when she and Jon and the kids got a free trip to Hawaii to renew their wedding vows, it wasn't just a stunt, as they meant every word of the vows, and anyway the kids really enjoyed the trip.
Finally, her answer to the question about ever getting married again was especially poignant and demonstrated Kate's ability to double talk.
"To be honest, I don't know," she said when asked by a viewer. "I really don't want to be married again, but I don't want to be alone. The alone-ness is really alone."
I think she will make a fine actress.
It should be noted that there were no viewers' questions about Jon and the all the scandals that have been reported over the past year, or basically since they “meaningfully” renewed their wedding vows.
After all such questions were probably not deemed “reasonable.”

An Important Jon & Kate Update!

I decided that it was time to catch up on the comings and goings of my favorite family, the Gosselins. So here’s an update on the latest Jon and Kate news.
On Monday’s episode of “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” Kate took the three little girls on a special trip to Florida. First they visited Butterfly World, where the kids got to see and play with hundreds of pretty butterflies.
Earlier this month Kate went on the “Today” show and announced that Jon had taken $230,000 out of their joint bank account, leaving her with only $1,000 to pay their bills.
At Butterfly World, the girls were befriended by one particular butterfly that they decided to name Black Velvet. Alexis was disappointed that they could not bring it home.
Jon denied removing a large sum of money from their bank account, but a judge ruled in court last week that he must return $180,000 to the account by October 26. The same judge also ordered that Kate must account for the $55,000 in bills that she supposedly has paid out.
Back at their home, Jon and the three boys bought a toy water-propelled bottle rocket, and after a few problems assembling it, managed to successfully shoot the rocket far into the sky many times.
Back in court the judge also ruled that Kate must respond to Jon’s allegations that she had misappropriated family-earmarked money from her book sales, and that she must do so by that same October 26 date.
Meanwhile it turns out that Butterfly World also has a bird sanctuary for abandoned macaws that have outlived their owners. While feeding these colorful birds Kate was bitten by one, but she just laughed it off. Later she joked that she wanted to pose holding eight birds instead of three, so she could “feel complete.”
Now remember that totally coincidentally, after TLC had bounced Jon from the show and renamed it “Kate Plus 8,” (scheduled to air beginning November 2), Jon had an epiphany and asserted his right to ban TLC’s camera crew from filming his kids.
Since the rocket launches were so successful, Jon led the boys and the older twin girls in a frolicking water balloon fight that everyone enjoyed.
TLC recently announced that they are going to sue Jon for breach of contract in response to his efforts to block any further taping of his family.
Kate and the girls visited the Bug Zoo, which the kids loved, playing with all kinds of creepy crawlers, while poor Kate was completely grossed out, but since this is the new and improved Kate, she laughed as she escaped through the fire exit.
TLC has further announced that they have suspended the “Kate Plus 8” show concept, and for now no further new shows involving the Gosselin family are planned.
In a very touching scene, Jon taught his boys how to swing a baseball bat while reminiscing in a “Field of Dreams” way about learning to play baseball from his father. And it turns out that one of the twins, Cara, has a real aptitude for hitting a baseball.
Kate has said that the kids have all been crying since the film crews have left, and she has pointed out that the Gosselins rely on income from the television show, which now has been canceled.
The girls and Kate went on a hot air balloon ride, or as one of the girls cutely announced, they were “Going in an air hot, air hot balloon.” Kate had trouble getting into the balloon because she was wearing high heels and the heat from the hot air made everyone sweat. But they drank lots of water and the view of the Florida countryside from the balloon was amazing, so the venture was worth it.
Finally, word is out that when a clip of Jon and Kate was shown at the Reality TV version of the Emmys, the audience actually booed poor Jon and Kate.
I can’t imagine why.

Jon & Kate Saga Continues

I know that the soap opera “The Guiding Light” just went off the air after 72 years on radio and television.
But what is happening with Jon and Kate Gosselin this week is something that has to be “out-weirding” any story line that the soap's writers could have ever dreamed up!
Yesterday TLC officially dropped Jon from the title of their formerly highest-rated show! (By the way, the show's ratings had dropped a mere 85% this season from its May premiere.) You can use any reality-show euphemism you like, “America has voted,” or “The tribe has spoken,” etc. But believe it or not, beginning November 2, the title of the TLC show will not be “Jon & Kate Plus 8;” rather it will now be “Kate Plus 8.”
(Pause for readers to chuckle just a bit.)
TLC president Eileen O'Neill released the following statement: “Given the recent changes in the family dynamics, it only makes sense for us to refresh and recalibrate the program to keep pace with the family. The family has evolved and we are attempting to evolve with it; we feel that Kate's journey really resonates with our viewers."
Yes, and supposedly Jon will make occasional appearances. I wonder if he will be eligible next year for an Emmy for best “guest star” appearance.
But the news about the show gets even juicier. Supposedly Kate has recently filmed a pilot for an entirely different new show, which she would co-host with the Food Network's Paula Deen (while continuing the “Kate Plus 8” show). Yes, media star Kate Gosselin is becoming the female Ryan Seacrest!
Now for the juiciest news of all (and I hope my editor doesn't accuse me of “burying the lead”). Even though Jon recently flaunted his relationship with girlfriend Hailey Glassman and stated on an interview on “Primetime” that he “despised” Kate, supposedly he has now had a change of heart.
In Touch magazine reported yesterday (the same day that TLC announced that his name was dropped from the show) that (are you ready for this twist?)
Jon submitted a document to a Pennsylvania court-approved arbitrator, which he hopes will SUSPEND his split with Kate for 90 days.
In the document he explains, "This will enable Kate and me to restore our relationship as cooperative parents and to open up our lines of communication. I hope that she will be as receptive and enthusiastic as I am to do what is best for our family."
He also pleaded with her to set aside their anger so they can start interacting amicably. "I would like to get back with Kate as a partner in parenting," Jon further told In Touch, "Even though we were heading for a divorce, it appeared that Kate had been suffering from this divorce as much as I had. That's why I asked my attorney to put the brakes on this divorce so I could try to regain control over the future of our family. So Kate and I could join on a cooperative course that would benefit our family -- not destroy it." Jon's attorney, Mark Jay Heller, reportedly told In Touch that Jon “woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and didn't like the reflection…He realized he'd made some bad choices." And Jon is quoted as saying "I regret my conduct since Kate and I separated [on June 22]…I used poor judgment in publicly socializing with other women so soon." In Touch further quotes Jon claiming that he's done sowing his wild oats and that he has grown disenchanted with his playboy lifestyle. His attorney insists that Jon wants the document to be a sort of peace treaty: "He is hoping to inspire his wife to become less rigid, inflexible and controlling and open up. We're hoping Jon and Kate can sit down together and start exploring what to do about their situation. Once they do that, the rest will fall into place."
And in one final piece of news, Jon is reportedly trying to sell his own reality show, called “The Divorced Dad's Club,” along with Michael Lohan (Lindsey's father)! I am not making this up!
As they say, “Truth is stranger than fiction,” which is why the Gosselin saga continues, while “The Guiding Light” has been turned off.

The New 'Jon & Kate' Shows

Well, after a brief sabbatical, the show called ‘Jon & Kate Plus Eight’ returned last night with not one but two exciting episodes! The shows probably drew high ratings, as I am sure that many people (including myself) wanted to see what was happening with all the drama behind their separation, the magazine covers, etc.
In fact I read somewhere that only Michael Jackson had a higher “Q Rating” this summer than Jon and Kate. (For those of you not obsessed with popular culture, a “Q Rating” is a gauge of a product or person’s overall fame or popularity based upon appearances on magazine covers, mentions on gossip shows, etc.)
Anyway, the shows certainly let down probably everyone who watched them. That is if you tuned in to see drama and gossip, you certainly were disappointed. And if you are a fan of the “old” John & Kate shows and wanted to watch a cute family with 8 kids struggle to survive the day to day chores of life, you certainly were disappointed.
And, if you were someone drawn to the show to see how a separated couple could manage the travails of raising a family with eight kids, then you definitely were disappointed.
Yes, the new “Jon & Kate” show is neither fish nor fowl. It has merely picked up where it left off, as a combination of an infomercial and “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.”
The first episode, titled “Renovations & Vacations” was particularly appalling. In this episode the Gosselins had decided to renovate their kitchen. Supposedly the decision was made before they decided to separate. The most telling comment was made by five year old Joel (standing in the midst of a kitchen probably much more spacious and modern than 99.9% of the viewers’ kitchens) and asking “Why are we getting a new kitchen?”
Silly Joel, didn’t he realize that a kitchen without pullout shelves and under the counter refrigerators is pretty useless?
Then Jon answered on the interview couch that they had already decided to renovate the kitchen, and they didn’t want to basically deprive the kids of a better kitchen, because after all it is the kids’ house, and they love the kids so very much.
Of course left unsaid was that contracts had probably already been signed with the kitchen renovation company, and I am sure this new kitchen was not going to cost the Gosselins a penny (nothing really does), and it would add value to their house, as well as give them a subject for another episode.
And the real reason for going ahead with the kitchen was that it gave Kate the opportunity to take the kids to the beach where she had “secured” a fabulous beach house, and more importantly she could show off her new tanned “bod” in an orange bikini to the world, including the paparazzi. You don’t think she knew those shots of her in the skimpy suit would show up on magazine covers?
Now the rest of this episode will be continued next week, when viewers will get to see the finished kitchen. Wow, what a cliffhanger; can’t wait to see those pullout shelves!
The second show was even more revealing. Yes, except for the opening credits, Jon was totally missing from the “Camping Out” episode. Kate got to show us that she could handle things by herself (of course with the help of several friends and the television crew). Kate and the kids roughed it, camping out in their back yard in a tent that would have made Lawrence of Arabia proud. (The tent even included a battery-powered ceiling fan!)
The roughing it part also included shots of the kids frolicking in their huge in ground swimming pool. These scenes HAD to be included, so we could see shots Kate in her new blue bikini.
There were several mentions of how much better Daddy is at starting fires and putting up tents, but aside from those brief mentions Jon was a no show in this episode. Of course he was probably out gallivanting with his assortment of girl friends shown with him on the cover of all the newsstand gossip magazines.
But the camping trip was a big success. And of course I have to mention the two commercials from Coleman Camping, “the original social networking” people. Gee I wonder how much the Gosselins had to pay for their camping equipment.
Finally, I am left to ponder one question that keeps nagging at me. Whatever happened to their two German shepherd dogs? They must be very well-trained to be so silent during the backyard camping outing.

Jon and Kate - 'The Show Must Go On!'

So this was the big announcement that was hyped all week about the special, hour-long “Jon and Kate Plus 8” episode!

Yes, sitting alone on the interview couch, Kate announced “The show must go on!”

I, and everyone else, thought the major announcement would be something dealing with the future of their marriage.

And they did mention that the Gosselin’s were separating, and that “legal proceedings were initiated to dissolve the ten-year marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin” in a Pennsylvania court yesterday. Interestingly, the word “divorce” was never mentioned on the show.

But to me the announcement that stood out the most was Kate’s statement about the show continuing. And if you freeze frame her announcement (as I did), you see the slightest smirk on her face, as she makes the proclamation.

Then there was discussion about the show’s future, which will entail each of them doing their usual activities with the children, but that Jon and Kate will be doing them separately. Of course those activities will entail all sorts of “fun” trips and adventures, all provided for free for the Gosselins, in trade for the product placement.

So the kids will stay in their estate (I mean “house”) which according to both parents was bought strictly for them. Jon and Kate will take turns (according to an unannounced schedule) staying with them.

Where will Jon and Kate be when they are not with the kids? According to several reports Jon is in the process of renting a New York luxury apartment at Trump Tower with a riverside view. One has to wonder where poor Kate will have to live on her “days off.”

The hypocrisy of this show was never more apparent that when Jon (wearing his diamond studs) whined “We have soldiers dying in Iraq, and all they (the paparazzi) care about is what I eat for lunch.”

Of course a segment of the show in practically every episode did focus on the Gosselins preparing and eating lunch. In last night’s show the lunch was a picnic, so the kids could watch the men constructing their “Crooked Houses.” If you didn’t watch the show, don’t ask.

And what about the kids? Well both Jon and Kate assured us that they are terrific and that their future will be nothing but “beautiful” and “peaceful.” What I observed was a bunch of rich kids arguing and bickering on their way to becoming very, very spoiled. Can you imagine what they will be like as teenagers and young adults? Does the name Lindsay Lohan come to mind?

After the big announcement, there was a final segment which was unbelievably ironic. Yes, the whole family was going to an expensive restaurant for a “fine dining brunch.”

It was pouring outside and everyone looked miserable, as Kate yelled at them to pay attention while Cara was ordered to read the menu.

It may be a stretch, and I may have an overly-imaginative mind, but I immediately flashed to the final scene in "Godfather II,” in which Michael Corleone sits alone and looking very sullen, having defeated all his enemies and living in luxury on his gated estate.

'Jon and Kate': Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous

After last week’s “train wreck,” I had to watch Monday night’s two half hour episodes of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” to see what kind of drama would ensue.

As I wrote last week, what once was a sweet, cute, and funny family show had evolved into a tearful drama that had reminded me of “Celebrity Rehab.”

Season Five’s first show drew amazing ratings, along with all sorts of national publicity. In fact yesterday’s USA Today had two relatively long (for the “nation’s newspaper”) articles about the show.

So when 9 p.m. rolled around I could not wait to see what was going to happen. Would Kate totally melt down? Would Jon be seen frequenting a strip club in Vegas?

But I am sorry to say the show had morphed into a third incarnation. And in one word, it was boooring!

Yes, “Jon & Kate Plus 8” has basically become “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”…or MTV’s “Cribs.”

In the first exciting episode, we got to see a surprise birthday party visit to the Food Network’s “Ace of Cakes” set. The party was supposedly arranged by the two 8 year old twins, Mady and Cara. Nice cross promotion for TLC’s sister station.

Of course Jon was not there, as he had decided to go snowboarding in Utah at the National Ability Center, an organization that helps disabled children experience the slopes.

Not to sound too cynical, but do ya’ think this might have been arranged to improve Jon’s party-boy image? By the way, was I the only one speculating if anything was “happening” between Jon and the cute blonde staff member Tracey?

I can just picture the planning meeting with the show’s producers.

Jon: “I can’t take another birthday party, especially for that ‘b..tch.’ I’ve got to get thousands of miles away. How about sending me to Vegas or Hollywood?”
Producers: “No, our focus groups show that people are starting to hate you. So you’re going to ski with handicapped kids in Utah.”
Jon: “Well, just make sure there is an attractive blonde there!”

We also got to see wonderful shots of Kate working hard, meeting her fans at book signings. And yes, she admitted to several adoring fans that indeed she did miss being with her kids. By the way, I have to wonder who is doing Kate’s makeup and hair this season. Could it possibly be Adam Lambert’s stylist?

In the second show, Jon was the parent staying home with the eight kids. (You see, raising eight children apparently only requires one parent being on hand at a time.)

So we had lots of shots of the grounds of their estate, and the children riding around in their battery-powered cars. I kept flashing back to one of my favorite comic books when I was a kid…”Richie Rich.” For drama, we got to see little Alexis fall and bite her lip.

And where was Kate? Well, when eight year old Mady said she wanted to spend some alone time with mom, instead of a trip to the local mall, they immediately jetted off to San Diego for four days of spa treatments and trips to the beach.

We discovered that Mady prefers pedicures to manicures! Now I started wondering if little Paris Hilton took similar trips with her mommy when she was eight.

So I was wrong about any comparison between this show and “Celebrity Rehab.” I think it’s just a matter of time before we see Kate teaming up with Donald Trump and appearing on “Celebrity Apprentice.”

And I would not bet against her winning!

Jon & Kate Plus 8: The Train Wreck

I sat down with my daughter to watch the Season 5 premiere of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” last night.By the end of the show I felt like I was watching an episode of “Celebrity Rehab,” and my daughter was fighting back tears.

What was once a cute, funny, and somewhat endearing show about a couple raising two sets of multiples has turned into a train wreck. I feel especially bad for those fans of the show (like my daughter) who watched the first four seasons because they had fallen in love with the eight kids. (My daughter’s favorite was little Hannah.)

I had enjoyed watching with my family, because I got a kick out of the interaction between Jon and Kate. Some of you may remember that I actually once praised their relationship in a column, writing:

“Jon and Kate have morphed into a couple that is totally honest and open with one another. They have developed a relationship built on trust, so much so that they can say almost anything to each other without producing the type of lingering feelings that fester and destroy so many relationships.”

Apparently I was wrong.

But what bothered me most about last night’s episode (which probably garnered the highest rating in their history, as the public squabbling between Jon and Kate has been tabloid fodder for the past six months) is the total hypocrisy that the show represented on so many levels.

Kate’s anger at the media and the paparazzi for intruding on their privacy is almost laughable.How do you invite the cameras into your home for five years and then constantly complain that you are getting too much media attention?

Then there is Kate herself, the mother of eight kids, who now is focused upon her career, which I guess entails traveling around the country making speeches, pushing her books (full of Bible quotes by the way), and selling a variety of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” products. Apparently she is not home much these days.

Of course there is Jon’s hypocrisy admitting that he needs an escape from the spotlight, and that he has “made some mistakes,” while photos of dear old dad canoodling with young women in nightclubs have appeared on the covers of tabloids for months.

If ever a show demonstrates the adage that “money is the root of all evil,” it is this one. In early seasons, with the family packed into a small house and wearing jeans, the show exuded a feeling of love and warmth.

Now in Season 5, there was Jon driving up in his white sports car, Kate wearing designer clothes and expensive jewelry, and the family living on a $1.1 million dollar estate. (Jon supposedly is living in an apartment over the garage.)

Overall, the premier episode was full of tears and sadness. Even though Kate had planned an especially gaudy (even by her standards) 5th birthday party for the sextuplets, the whole show oozed emptiness. And what was especially empty were the classic interview scenes on a couch, as Jon and Kate each were interviewed sitting by themselves.

So why did they agree to a fifth season, with their world crumbling around their family? How does $75,000 an episode sound? After all, the upkeep on that estate must cost quite a bundle. Moreover, they better save up for all the therapy sessions those kids will need in a few years.

When the show ended last night, my daughter said she probably won’t watch it anymore. But I am hooked. After all, I never missed an episode of “Celebrity Rehab!”
Labels: Jon and Kate, paparazzi, relationships

Jon & Kate in trouble? Oh my! Guess I was wrong ... or not

The question is, when you have to “eat crow,” should you add a dash of salt?

Regular readers may recall that last summer I wrote a column citing Mr. and Mrs. Gosselin, the stars of the popular "Jon & Kate Plus 8” television show, as an example of a couple with a “healthy relationship.”

With foot firmly entrenched in mouth I wrote the following: “Jon and Kate have morphed into a couple that is totally honest and open with one another. They have developed a relationship built on trust, so much so that they can say almost anything to each other without producing the type of lingering feelings that fester and destroy so many relationships.

And I further stated “(Yes) Jon and Kate… argue almost daily. But I would bet dollars to donuts…. that they will never cheat on one another or wind up in divorce court.”

Now, less than a year later every gossip television show and magazine is trumpeting rumors that Jon has been seen out partying with young coeds, and that their relationship is in serious trouble.

I even saw one show in which an expert broke down and analyzed the couple’s body language while the Goslings were sitting on their famous interview couch.

The expert predicted that they were a couple whose relationship is in serious trouble. In slow motion I saw the way that Kate was scratching her neck, Jon was rolling his eyes, and leaning father and farther away from his wife.

Supposedly a lot of the problems stem from Kate being out and about delivering speeches and promoting her books, tapes, lunch boxes, etc, while Jon is just out and about promoting himself.

Now I always knew that the couple fought and bickered a lot, but I thought that they also displayed an openness and honesty in that bickering that would keep them together. I also thought that their love for their brood of two sets of multiples (8 kids in all) would prevent them ever from cheating on one another or separating.

Of course Season 5 of their popular show on “The Learning Channel” is set to kick off on May 25, and all of this rumor-mongering could just be publicity to hype the new season.

Was the ominous tone and stilted body language on last season’s finale just another version of a television series cliffhanger? Is this speculation merely another version of “Who shot JR?”

So perhaps I was right all along. Jon and Kate WILL stay together, but NOT because of their love for their kids or each other, but to keep the money flowing in from their ever-popular show.
So maybe I only have to swallow half a serving of crow.