'Jon & Kate': The Show that Won't Die!

Last week I speculated that the one hour “Viewers Ask Questions” interview with Kate Gosselin would be the final show of the “Jon & Kate Plus 8” saga.
Boy was I wrong. Unlike even some vampires (i.e. Godric on “True Blood”), this is a show that won't die. Desperate for ratings, I guess that TLC plans on squeezing every little drop of blood out of the Gosselin family. (And how ironic is it that “TLC” actually stands for “The Learning Channel?”)
So last night we were treated to another one hour interview with Kate; this time the interview was conducted by Natalie Morales of NBC News, supposedly to give the interview more credibility. Of course we all know that the “news” today is more fluff than substance. And full of fluff is the best way to describe the softball questions (with no follow-ups) that Ms. Morales tossed Kate's way.
Somehow I just can't picture Edward R. Murrow or Mike Wallace conducting the same interview.
So once again we got to hear how Kate loves her children, would do nothing that would ever harm them, and that she originally signed up to do a reality show, not to be a “tabloid staple.” Oh, and that her and the paparazzi have a “hate-hate” relationship.
While tears welled up in Kate's eyes as she paused to answer questions about Jon's infidelities, her middle of the night meltdowns, and the positive and negative lessons she has learned (I guess it is “The Learning Channel” after all), there were moments I had difficulty hearing what she was saying, because of the jangling of her jewelry while she wiped her eyes.
I also became distracted by her contrived speech patterns that I first noticed weeks ago during an interview with Larry King.
So do I believe that Kate only cares about her children's welfare? No I don't.
Do I watch too many Jon and Kate interviews? Absolutely.
Do I regret watching all of these interviews? Absolutely.
(Excuse me while I try and contain myself for a moment.)
Okay, here's what I thought was the most interesting aspect of last night's interview, and that involves the questions that Ms. Morales asked dealing with Kate's relationship with her parents and siblings.
First Kate mentioned that she was the middle of five children, and that she was “the forgotten child.” (Hmm, could this have anything to do with her decision to get on a reality show?)
When asked about her current relationship with her parents, Kate said that it was basically an email one, and that they do not talk. But what I found most telling is the fact that this split between Kate and her family (apparently only one sister now supports her) happened NOT in the past year, but long ago.
In fact Kate admitted that her falling out with her parents occurred after the sextuplets were born, but BEFORE the television series! Kate's explanation of the problems with her parents was “that was the beginning of me realizing everyone has an opinion and sometimes those opinions aren't my opinions….and at that time I felt like it was best just to step back and take a break.”
Wow! So she basically decided to confine her relationship with her parents (and the children's grandparents) to emails because of a difference of opinion! Can you imagine if all of us did that with parents and siblings?
Back to the most important subject: Kate's future in television. First I must mention that I thought Kate looked just “mahvelous” during this interview. Obviously it's just a matter of time until her talk show premiers.
Anyway, checking my channel guide, it appears that TLC will continue to come up with new shows from already filmed footage.
Next Monday we will be treated to an hour-long episode titled “Viewers' Top Moments,” and the following Monday there will be two half hour episodes, “Gymnastics & Basketball” and “Never Before Seen.”
So it appears that this “Jon & Kate” saga may truly be a “Never Ending Story,” at least as long as the ratings hold up.

Jon & Kate Saga Continues

I know that the soap opera “The Guiding Light” just went off the air after 72 years on radio and television.
But what is happening with Jon and Kate Gosselin this week is something that has to be “out-weirding” any story line that the soap's writers could have ever dreamed up!
Yesterday TLC officially dropped Jon from the title of their formerly highest-rated show! (By the way, the show's ratings had dropped a mere 85% this season from its May premiere.) You can use any reality-show euphemism you like, “America has voted,” or “The tribe has spoken,” etc. But believe it or not, beginning November 2, the title of the TLC show will not be “Jon & Kate Plus 8;” rather it will now be “Kate Plus 8.”
(Pause for readers to chuckle just a bit.)
TLC president Eileen O'Neill released the following statement: “Given the recent changes in the family dynamics, it only makes sense for us to refresh and recalibrate the program to keep pace with the family. The family has evolved and we are attempting to evolve with it; we feel that Kate's journey really resonates with our viewers."
Yes, and supposedly Jon will make occasional appearances. I wonder if he will be eligible next year for an Emmy for best “guest star” appearance.
But the news about the show gets even juicier. Supposedly Kate has recently filmed a pilot for an entirely different new show, which she would co-host with the Food Network's Paula Deen (while continuing the “Kate Plus 8” show). Yes, media star Kate Gosselin is becoming the female Ryan Seacrest!
Now for the juiciest news of all (and I hope my editor doesn't accuse me of “burying the lead”). Even though Jon recently flaunted his relationship with girlfriend Hailey Glassman and stated on an interview on “Primetime” that he “despised” Kate, supposedly he has now had a change of heart.
In Touch magazine reported yesterday (the same day that TLC announced that his name was dropped from the show) that (are you ready for this twist?)
Jon submitted a document to a Pennsylvania court-approved arbitrator, which he hopes will SUSPEND his split with Kate for 90 days.
In the document he explains, "This will enable Kate and me to restore our relationship as cooperative parents and to open up our lines of communication. I hope that she will be as receptive and enthusiastic as I am to do what is best for our family."
He also pleaded with her to set aside their anger so they can start interacting amicably. "I would like to get back with Kate as a partner in parenting," Jon further told In Touch, "Even though we were heading for a divorce, it appeared that Kate had been suffering from this divorce as much as I had. That's why I asked my attorney to put the brakes on this divorce so I could try to regain control over the future of our family. So Kate and I could join on a cooperative course that would benefit our family -- not destroy it." Jon's attorney, Mark Jay Heller, reportedly told In Touch that Jon “woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and didn't like the reflection…He realized he'd made some bad choices." And Jon is quoted as saying "I regret my conduct since Kate and I separated [on June 22]…I used poor judgment in publicly socializing with other women so soon." In Touch further quotes Jon claiming that he's done sowing his wild oats and that he has grown disenchanted with his playboy lifestyle. His attorney insists that Jon wants the document to be a sort of peace treaty: "He is hoping to inspire his wife to become less rigid, inflexible and controlling and open up. We're hoping Jon and Kate can sit down together and start exploring what to do about their situation. Once they do that, the rest will fall into place."
And in one final piece of news, Jon is reportedly trying to sell his own reality show, called “The Divorced Dad's Club,” along with Michael Lohan (Lindsey's father)! I am not making this up!
As they say, “Truth is stranger than fiction,” which is why the Gosselin saga continues, while “The Guiding Light” has been turned off.

The Woman With the Highest 'DQ' Is...

Within minutes of the publishing of my last column citing Howard Stern as the man with the highest Dating Quotient (that is most marketable in the dating world), I received an e-mail from a reader asking me to name a comparable woman with a very high DQ.
Now I hope that regular readers of this column realize that a woman with a high DQ would be someone who is in some ways a direct opposite of Howard Stern, which highlights the abyss-like differences between men and women. That is, a very tall, 55-year-old (another reader corrected me that I mistakenly listed Stern as 56) divorced mother of three children would not have a high DQ.
Anyway, the name that immediately popped into my head was the actress Natalie Portman. For adult men she is at a perfect age, 28, she is slender and petite.
(Yes, contrary to what a lot of women think, most adult men do not aspire to meet 22 year olds. Well, they might "meet" them, but when seeking a woman for a potential long-term relationship, most guys prefer someone a little older. So I project, depending on the man's age that a woman's DQ peaks in the 26-34 age range. Of course that doesn't mean that a woman in her 40s and 50s cannot have a high DQ. Remember, I am describing the woman with the highest DQ.)
Now Natalie is also very intelligent, and, in most of her roles, she plays a bright, down-to-earth woman with a sort of sassy/quirky personality. In fact when interviewing and coaching single and divorced men in recent years, the most common personality trait requested was a playful sense of humor. Men today are looking for women who are fun, interesting and somewhat challenging.
This is a marked change over the past couple of decades. Back in the 1980s, when I started my dating service, men seemed to prefer women with a more traditional, passive female personality.
Having said all of these positives about Natalie Portman, on second thought I realize that Natalie the actress would NOT have the highest DQ. She is too famous, and while most guys would love to meet her and perhaps date her for a while, it is doubtful that most "civilian" men (who are not celebrities) would really want a long-term, serious relationship with a movie star.
So the woman with the highest DQ would NOT be Natalie Portman, but it might be a fictional character that Natalie would play in a movie.
That is, she would look, talk, and act like Natalie Portman, but she would not be a famous actress. In 2009 a woman with a high Dating Quotient certainly would have a job that brings in a decent paycheck. But it would also be a job in which getting ahead does not mean developing an extremely aggressive personality, working long hours or having to travel constantly. (Note that in a previous paragraph I said men prefer a woman who is "somewhat" challenging.)
The woman with the highest DQ would probably have a job that allows for flexibility in terms of scheduling or taking time off to raise a family. While many women today hold high-powered positions that require long hours and mandate inflexible schedules, women in those careers would see their DQ drop. (Remember Mia in the HBO series "In Treatment?")
So what do men ask for? At the dating service that I ran for 23 years and when talking with men with whom I have been consulting as a dating coach in recent years, I have found that the careers most requested by men involve working in what have long been considered traditional female jobs.
That would include working in education or some form of allied health-related field, such as speech or physical therapy. Men also like women in creative fields, but those women would have to have achieved some level of success as artists, musicians, or writers.
This is another way in which men have evolved. Remember, before the women's movement of the 1970s, most men would have not wanted their wives to work outside of the home. Think of "Mad Men's" Don Draper or Pete Daniels' reactions if their wives had suddenly announced they wanted to seek full-time jobs.
It is only in the past 20 years or so that men not only have come to prefer that their wives work, but also that they bring in an income that will help with the mortgage and other skyrocketing family expenses, such as health insurance and college tuitions.
Therefore, allow me to have fun designing my fictional Natalie Portman character with an extremely high DQ. She would have the following characteristics:
· Since Natalie would be playing her, she obviously would look like Natalie Portman. (George Lucas recognized Natalie's broad appeal to men, casting her in the important role of Queen Amadila in three "Star Wars" movies.)
· She would be a physical therapist, who derives a real sense of satisfaction working with young children with physical handicaps.
· Perhaps she also achieved some success by publishing a children's book about a handicapped child who builds a space ship and travels to the moon. The book would not be a best-seller, but it would sell well enough to ensure consistent royalties if and when the character decides to take time off from her job to have a family.
· She would be single, and although in her late 20s (since she devoted so much time and effort to her career), her dating background would be somewhat limited ...; perhaps a boyfriend in college and a few short-term relationships.
· She would possess a slightly sarcastic, quirky sense of humor, which helps her kid around with her handicapped child clients. Eventually she would use that humor to playfully banter when she meets "Mr. Right."
· She would be very down-to-earth, eschewing expensive jewelry and designer clothes, and she would wear a minimal amount of makeup (you know, the no-makeup, makeup look).
· In her free time she would be very athletic, playing golf, skiing, working out regularly, and perhaps running in 10K races.
· Of course she would not smoke or drink more than socially, as she would strive to lead a healthy lifestyle.
· Perhaps she would also do volunteer work, raising money for a nonprofit organization that gives scholarships to handicapped kids so they can eventually go to college.
OK, the above is just an outline of a woman that I believe would have close to a perfect Dating Quotient in this day and age. And before women who don't fit those criteria start sending me angry e-mails, remember I am just passing on what men have told me when asked to describe the type of woman they want to meet.
So please don't shoot the messenger. Oh what the heck, feel free to fire away.

Jon & Kate Plus 8: The Train Wreck

I sat down with my daughter to watch the Season 5 premiere of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” last night.By the end of the show I felt like I was watching an episode of “Celebrity Rehab,” and my daughter was fighting back tears.

What was once a cute, funny, and somewhat endearing show about a couple raising two sets of multiples has turned into a train wreck. I feel especially bad for those fans of the show (like my daughter) who watched the first four seasons because they had fallen in love with the eight kids. (My daughter’s favorite was little Hannah.)

I had enjoyed watching with my family, because I got a kick out of the interaction between Jon and Kate. Some of you may remember that I actually once praised their relationship in a column, writing:

“Jon and Kate have morphed into a couple that is totally honest and open with one another. They have developed a relationship built on trust, so much so that they can say almost anything to each other without producing the type of lingering feelings that fester and destroy so many relationships.”

Apparently I was wrong.

But what bothered me most about last night’s episode (which probably garnered the highest rating in their history, as the public squabbling between Jon and Kate has been tabloid fodder for the past six months) is the total hypocrisy that the show represented on so many levels.

Kate’s anger at the media and the paparazzi for intruding on their privacy is almost laughable.How do you invite the cameras into your home for five years and then constantly complain that you are getting too much media attention?

Then there is Kate herself, the mother of eight kids, who now is focused upon her career, which I guess entails traveling around the country making speeches, pushing her books (full of Bible quotes by the way), and selling a variety of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” products. Apparently she is not home much these days.

Of course there is Jon’s hypocrisy admitting that he needs an escape from the spotlight, and that he has “made some mistakes,” while photos of dear old dad canoodling with young women in nightclubs have appeared on the covers of tabloids for months.

If ever a show demonstrates the adage that “money is the root of all evil,” it is this one. In early seasons, with the family packed into a small house and wearing jeans, the show exuded a feeling of love and warmth.

Now in Season 5, there was Jon driving up in his white sports car, Kate wearing designer clothes and expensive jewelry, and the family living on a $1.1 million dollar estate. (Jon supposedly is living in an apartment over the garage.)

Overall, the premier episode was full of tears and sadness. Even though Kate had planned an especially gaudy (even by her standards) 5th birthday party for the sextuplets, the whole show oozed emptiness. And what was especially empty were the classic interview scenes on a couch, as Jon and Kate each were interviewed sitting by themselves.

So why did they agree to a fifth season, with their world crumbling around their family? How does $75,000 an episode sound? After all, the upkeep on that estate must cost quite a bundle. Moreover, they better save up for all the therapy sessions those kids will need in a few years.

When the show ended last night, my daughter said she probably won’t watch it anymore. But I am hooked. After all, I never missed an episode of “Celebrity Rehab!”
Labels: Jon and Kate, paparazzi, relationships

Starting a New Special Relationship

Readers of this blog know my family had to put our 14 year old Cocker Spaniel, Abby, to sleep back in January.

But we could not face the Spring and trips to the beach (and the Portsmouth Dog Park) without a dog, so I am pleased to report that we just welcomed our new pup, Sophie, into our household. Sophie is a 10 week old Cockalier. What is a Cockalier?

Here is a description:"The Cockalier is a cross between the American Cocker Spaniel and the King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. Cockaliers usually average 15-22 lbs in size with a soft fluffy coat and the fringes on legs and feet characteristic of a Spaniel."The Cockalier is even-tempered and requires a moderate amount of exercise. It is a very affectionate and smart dog with an extremely friendly personality. They are loyal and good with families as they are very people-pleasing. "

So our "dog hole" has been filled. And, as I have written before, there are few relationships better than a family with their dog!
Labels: cocker spaniel, Portsmouth Dog Park, relationships

'The Bachelor' - Much Ado About Nothing!

I guess there is a lot of hoopla about the fact that on the recent Season Finale of "The Bachelor," Jason changed his mind about proposing to whomever. I understand that a lot of viewers (probably almost all women) are very upset with Jason.

Now let me say that I have never watched one complete episode of "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette." I do admit I have caught a few minutes of these shows while channel-surfing and feeling completely bored. But a few minutes is about all I can take.

I think what bugs me most is the premise that after a short series of dates with a number of women or men, people are supposed to "fall in love" and decide to spend the rest of their lives with a fellow "contestant." Then viewers are actually surprised when someone changes his mind or one of these relationships doesn't work out? I think Jason should be commended for having realized how silly the whole concept of proposing to someone within the time confines of a TV series is!All I know is that the message such shows send obsessed viewers is that "true love" is something that can be identified over a relatively short period of time.

Of course many of these same viewers then emulate the "bachelors" and "bachelorettes" and fall in love and propose to one another after a relatively brief courting period.And people wonder why the divorce rate in this country is so high!