Jon & Kate Saga Continues

I know that the soap opera “The Guiding Light” just went off the air after 72 years on radio and television.
But what is happening with Jon and Kate Gosselin this week is something that has to be “out-weirding” any story line that the soap's writers could have ever dreamed up!
Yesterday TLC officially dropped Jon from the title of their formerly highest-rated show! (By the way, the show's ratings had dropped a mere 85% this season from its May premiere.) You can use any reality-show euphemism you like, “America has voted,” or “The tribe has spoken,” etc. But believe it or not, beginning November 2, the title of the TLC show will not be “Jon & Kate Plus 8;” rather it will now be “Kate Plus 8.”
(Pause for readers to chuckle just a bit.)
TLC president Eileen O'Neill released the following statement: “Given the recent changes in the family dynamics, it only makes sense for us to refresh and recalibrate the program to keep pace with the family. The family has evolved and we are attempting to evolve with it; we feel that Kate's journey really resonates with our viewers."
Yes, and supposedly Jon will make occasional appearances. I wonder if he will be eligible next year for an Emmy for best “guest star” appearance.
But the news about the show gets even juicier. Supposedly Kate has recently filmed a pilot for an entirely different new show, which she would co-host with the Food Network's Paula Deen (while continuing the “Kate Plus 8” show). Yes, media star Kate Gosselin is becoming the female Ryan Seacrest!
Now for the juiciest news of all (and I hope my editor doesn't accuse me of “burying the lead”). Even though Jon recently flaunted his relationship with girlfriend Hailey Glassman and stated on an interview on “Primetime” that he “despised” Kate, supposedly he has now had a change of heart.
In Touch magazine reported yesterday (the same day that TLC announced that his name was dropped from the show) that (are you ready for this twist?)
Jon submitted a document to a Pennsylvania court-approved arbitrator, which he hopes will SUSPEND his split with Kate for 90 days.
In the document he explains, "This will enable Kate and me to restore our relationship as cooperative parents and to open up our lines of communication. I hope that she will be as receptive and enthusiastic as I am to do what is best for our family."
He also pleaded with her to set aside their anger so they can start interacting amicably. "I would like to get back with Kate as a partner in parenting," Jon further told In Touch, "Even though we were heading for a divorce, it appeared that Kate had been suffering from this divorce as much as I had. That's why I asked my attorney to put the brakes on this divorce so I could try to regain control over the future of our family. So Kate and I could join on a cooperative course that would benefit our family -- not destroy it." Jon's attorney, Mark Jay Heller, reportedly told In Touch that Jon “woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and didn't like the reflection…He realized he'd made some bad choices." And Jon is quoted as saying "I regret my conduct since Kate and I separated [on June 22]…I used poor judgment in publicly socializing with other women so soon." In Touch further quotes Jon claiming that he's done sowing his wild oats and that he has grown disenchanted with his playboy lifestyle. His attorney insists that Jon wants the document to be a sort of peace treaty: "He is hoping to inspire his wife to become less rigid, inflexible and controlling and open up. We're hoping Jon and Kate can sit down together and start exploring what to do about their situation. Once they do that, the rest will fall into place."
And in one final piece of news, Jon is reportedly trying to sell his own reality show, called “The Divorced Dad's Club,” along with Michael Lohan (Lindsey's father)! I am not making this up!
As they say, “Truth is stranger than fiction,” which is why the Gosselin saga continues, while “The Guiding Light” has been turned off.

'Flash Forward': Now There Was a Premiere!

It's almost not fair.
If you're a sci-fi fan who is addicted to “Lost” and was addicted to “The X Files,” Thursday night's premiere of ABC's “Flash Forward” was like placing a steak in front of a dog…or a shot of MacCutcheon whiskey in front of Desmond Hume. (If you get that reference you definitely are a fellow “Lostie.”)
The action-packed “FF” show sucked viewers in from the first seconds it came on the air. To briefly recap what this series is all about (as if most of you didn't already know), everyone on the planet blacks out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds, causing all sorts of accidents and crises.
During that period, almost everyone has a “flash forward” view of their lives six months into the future. Obviously the question is what caused this “global event” to happen?
But for the people involved, there are two equally important issues that are raised by the lead character, FBI agent Mark Benford, played by British actor Joseph Fiennes.
First, while trying to console his daughter he says “Because we saw these things, that doesn't mean they are going to happen.” Later, at a meeting in the FBI offices he asserts “We can use what we saw to stop what we saw.”
The real questions are “Can they really stop what they saw” or “Are they destined to live out the ‘flash forwards' that occur on April 29, 2010?” (By the way I just looked on my calendar, and April 29, 2010 does occur on a Thursday, the night the show airs.)
Of course, the whole question of whether a person who knows (or once lived in) the future can change the future is at the heart of “Lost,” especially in terms of the way Season five ended.
Several other “Flash Forward/Lost” comparisons also come to mind:
While “FF” hits the ground running in terms of action, except for the plane crash itself, early episodes of “Lost” were more subtle, focusing on character development more so than plot development. While some people complained that there was not enough action in the show's first few seasons, many of us did not care as we became so attached to characters like Jack, Locke, Hurley, Kate, Sawyer, and Ben. The real roller coaster action in “Lost” did not begin until midway through Season 3.
When “Lost's” producers announced that there would be a definite end to the series, the show seemed to rise to a new level; before that point many of us “Losties” wondered if we were just being jerked around by the writers. Even though we have only seen one episode of “FF,” I would like to hear ASAP how many seasons the show will run. (But of course that will never happen, as ABC will delay any decision of that sort until after they see the ratings. I was deeply disappointed when the show “Invasion” was canceled after one season because of low ratings, leaving those of us who were fans of the show in the proverbial “lurch.”)
As with “Lost,” this is a show that cries out for fans to freeze frame certain scenes, such as Agent Benford's “flash forward” to try and get clues to figure out future episodes.
Note that the final episode of “Lost” is scheduled to air on a Wednesday in May, 2010, perhaps a week or two after April 29, 2010. Hmmm, any chance of a crossover?
Sonya Walger, who plays FBI agent Benford's wife Olivia, also plays Penelope (Penny) Widmore in “Lost.”
Dominic Monaghan, who played “Charlie” on “Lost”, will appear on episode 3 of “FF” as a character named Simon.
Anyway, let us hope that “FF's” producers take a lesson from “Lost” and tone down the action just a bit in future episodes and focus more on character development, so it doesn't turn into one of those action-packed television shows that get carried away with computer-generated building explosions and random car chases.
And if you are a sci-fi fan who somehow missed the “FF” premiere and forgot to DVR it, please note that ABC will be re-running the pilot episode this evening at 8:00.
I'll probably watch it again.

Which Show Was Worse...'Cougar Town' or 'Mercy?'

I tried. I really tried.
Since I write a regular dating column and occasionally write about television shows, I figured I would watch the premier episode of ABC’s “Cougar Town” on Wednesday night.
I usually don’t like scripted shows on broadcast networks, but occasionally a gem slips past the knuckleheads who produce them. After all, I love “The Office” and am passionate about “Lost.”
Well, Courtney Cox’s show is more of a lump of coal than one of those gems. The premise of a 40 year old divorcee trying to date younger men, partially because men her own age usually want to (and can get away with) dating younger women is not a bad one.
But there were so many things wrong with “Cougar Town,” I couldn’t wait until it finally ended. Yes, a half hour show seemed to drag on forever.
First of all, while the opening credits showed a woman looking in the mirror and squeezing her loose flesh, when we finally saw Courtney’s whole body (and we saw a lot of it), there didn’t appear to be a scintilla of flab anywhere.
One must wonder how many hours a day Ms. Cox worked out with a personal Tinseltown trainer to get that body. Once again Hollywood is portraying an unrealistic image of women for female viewers to try and emulate. The (dual) messages “Cougar Town” sends to men of all ages are that it’s OK to date women over 40 (a great, positive one), as long as they have the body of a 22 year old (a really, really bad one).
Moreover, the rest of the show contained the usually insipid sit-com whacky characters and silly plot lines. Enough already of Courtney’s character lusting after her teenage sons high school friends; or a middle school adolescent stealing posters that showed off Courtney’s cleavage. Frankly, after a while the show became absolutely creepy!
Overall, let’s just hope that “Cougar Town” is one of the first cancellations of the fall season!
Since I had decided to watch that show, I also caught two other premieres Wednesday evening. If ever a show demonstrates the superiority of cable network shows over broadcast network shows, it is NBC’s “Mercy," a show about nurses working together at a hospital.
Showtime’s “Nurse Jackie” which aired this summer was absolutely brilliant, with interesting plot lines and drama infused with pathos and humor. The NBC version of a show about nurses quickly dissolved into classic sit-com clichés. I think it will be a close race to see whether “Mercy” is canceled before “Cougar Town.”
I also decided to watch the highly praised “Modern Family,” on ABC. Every review I read about this season’s new shows acclaimed this show as the absolute best one to debut.
The show is about three related families, and it deals with the problems and situations that many families face today. Issues such as a gay couple adopting a Vietnamese baby and parents fighting with their teenage daughters over texting and dressing too provocatively are very “2009.” Of course they had to include a divorced father (“Married With Children’s” Ed O’Neill) wed to a much younger and extremely sexy Columbian woman.
I can easily picture the memo from the lecherous balding, pot-bellied network executives at ABC giving their okay to the show, ONLY if it would include one of their personal fantasies.
“Modern Family” may very well be the best of the broadcast network’s new fall shows, but that’s like saying that a Double A minor league outfielder with a 300 batting average belongs in the majors.
Before I come across as a cynical critic who dislikes all scripted broadcast network shows, I have to point out one fantastic debut that aired this week.
The two-hour season premiere of Fox’s “House” was absolutely one of the best episodes of television I have EVER viewed. I have always enjoyed watching Dr. House, although most episodes of this medical drama have a peculiar sameness.
Not this one!
The dramatization of House’s journey to self awareness during his stay at a mental hospital was so well done and fascinating that I have no problem stating that it compares favorably with the classic Oscar-winning movie “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” And that’s saying a lot!
I can’t wait for next week’s episode of “House,” to see how “Gregory’s” new self awareness translates into interactions with his colleagues when he returns to his regular position at Princeton General Hospital!
I guess the old adage that “every blind squirrel occasionally finds an acorn” fittingly applies to the first week of broadcast television’s new season.

The Woman With the Highest 'DQ' Is...

Within minutes of the publishing of my last column citing Howard Stern as the man with the highest Dating Quotient (that is most marketable in the dating world), I received an e-mail from a reader asking me to name a comparable woman with a very high DQ.
Now I hope that regular readers of this column realize that a woman with a high DQ would be someone who is in some ways a direct opposite of Howard Stern, which highlights the abyss-like differences between men and women. That is, a very tall, 55-year-old (another reader corrected me that I mistakenly listed Stern as 56) divorced mother of three children would not have a high DQ.
Anyway, the name that immediately popped into my head was the actress Natalie Portman. For adult men she is at a perfect age, 28, she is slender and petite.
(Yes, contrary to what a lot of women think, most adult men do not aspire to meet 22 year olds. Well, they might "meet" them, but when seeking a woman for a potential long-term relationship, most guys prefer someone a little older. So I project, depending on the man's age that a woman's DQ peaks in the 26-34 age range. Of course that doesn't mean that a woman in her 40s and 50s cannot have a high DQ. Remember, I am describing the woman with the highest DQ.)
Now Natalie is also very intelligent, and, in most of her roles, she plays a bright, down-to-earth woman with a sort of sassy/quirky personality. In fact when interviewing and coaching single and divorced men in recent years, the most common personality trait requested was a playful sense of humor. Men today are looking for women who are fun, interesting and somewhat challenging.
This is a marked change over the past couple of decades. Back in the 1980s, when I started my dating service, men seemed to prefer women with a more traditional, passive female personality.
Having said all of these positives about Natalie Portman, on second thought I realize that Natalie the actress would NOT have the highest DQ. She is too famous, and while most guys would love to meet her and perhaps date her for a while, it is doubtful that most "civilian" men (who are not celebrities) would really want a long-term, serious relationship with a movie star.
So the woman with the highest DQ would NOT be Natalie Portman, but it might be a fictional character that Natalie would play in a movie.
That is, she would look, talk, and act like Natalie Portman, but she would not be a famous actress. In 2009 a woman with a high Dating Quotient certainly would have a job that brings in a decent paycheck. But it would also be a job in which getting ahead does not mean developing an extremely aggressive personality, working long hours or having to travel constantly. (Note that in a previous paragraph I said men prefer a woman who is "somewhat" challenging.)
The woman with the highest DQ would probably have a job that allows for flexibility in terms of scheduling or taking time off to raise a family. While many women today hold high-powered positions that require long hours and mandate inflexible schedules, women in those careers would see their DQ drop. (Remember Mia in the HBO series "In Treatment?")
So what do men ask for? At the dating service that I ran for 23 years and when talking with men with whom I have been consulting as a dating coach in recent years, I have found that the careers most requested by men involve working in what have long been considered traditional female jobs.
That would include working in education or some form of allied health-related field, such as speech or physical therapy. Men also like women in creative fields, but those women would have to have achieved some level of success as artists, musicians, or writers.
This is another way in which men have evolved. Remember, before the women's movement of the 1970s, most men would have not wanted their wives to work outside of the home. Think of "Mad Men's" Don Draper or Pete Daniels' reactions if their wives had suddenly announced they wanted to seek full-time jobs.
It is only in the past 20 years or so that men not only have come to prefer that their wives work, but also that they bring in an income that will help with the mortgage and other skyrocketing family expenses, such as health insurance and college tuitions.
Therefore, allow me to have fun designing my fictional Natalie Portman character with an extremely high DQ. She would have the following characteristics:
· Since Natalie would be playing her, she obviously would look like Natalie Portman. (George Lucas recognized Natalie's broad appeal to men, casting her in the important role of Queen Amadila in three "Star Wars" movies.)
· She would be a physical therapist, who derives a real sense of satisfaction working with young children with physical handicaps.
· Perhaps she also achieved some success by publishing a children's book about a handicapped child who builds a space ship and travels to the moon. The book would not be a best-seller, but it would sell well enough to ensure consistent royalties if and when the character decides to take time off from her job to have a family.
· She would be single, and although in her late 20s (since she devoted so much time and effort to her career), her dating background would be somewhat limited ...; perhaps a boyfriend in college and a few short-term relationships.
· She would possess a slightly sarcastic, quirky sense of humor, which helps her kid around with her handicapped child clients. Eventually she would use that humor to playfully banter when she meets "Mr. Right."
· She would be very down-to-earth, eschewing expensive jewelry and designer clothes, and she would wear a minimal amount of makeup (you know, the no-makeup, makeup look).
· In her free time she would be very athletic, playing golf, skiing, working out regularly, and perhaps running in 10K races.
· Of course she would not smoke or drink more than socially, as she would strive to lead a healthy lifestyle.
· Perhaps she would also do volunteer work, raising money for a nonprofit organization that gives scholarships to handicapped kids so they can eventually go to college.
OK, the above is just an outline of a woman that I believe would have close to a perfect Dating Quotient in this day and age. And before women who don't fit those criteria start sending me angry e-mails, remember I am just passing on what men have told me when asked to describe the type of woman they want to meet.
So please don't shoot the messenger. Oh what the heck, feel free to fire away.

Ten Favorite TV Sitcoms

With my all-time favorite TV show returning September 20 (and with a preview of it appearing on HBO tonight at 10 p.m.), I thought I would present my top ten list of favorite sitcoms. These are all shows that, while watching, I found myself laughing out loud quite often.
*****
1. Curb Your Enthusiasm – (HBO 2000-present)
IMBD description: Seinfeld co-creator Larry David stars as himself in this hilarious, off-kilter comedy series that presents an unflinching, self-depreciating depiction of his life.
Why I laughed so hard: I totally identify with Larry, being a semi-retired balding Jewish guy married to a WASP and who constantly puts my foot in my mouth while waiting in line at the bank or in the waiting room of a doctor's office.
Funniest memory: Larry at the Incest Survivor's Support Group, having to make up a story about his uncle.
*****
2. Seinfeld - (NBC, 1990-1998)
IMBD description: The continuing misadventures of neurotic New York stand-up comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his equally neurotic New York friends.
Why I laughed so hard: I guess I didn't think of them as that neurotic, and of course I identified with George. But all the characters were memorable, especially George and Jerry's parents, Uncle Leo, Mr. Pitt, and of course my favorite, the evil Newman.
Funniest memory: George in his hospital bed trying to pay attention to his mother while watching the silhouette of a sexy nurse giving a sponge bath to the female patient in the next bed.
*****
3. All In The Family – (CBS, 1971–1979)
IMBD description: A working class bigot constantly squabbles with his family over the important issues of the day.
Why I laughed so hard: As a liberal, Baby Boomer sort of hippie in the 1970s, I totally identified with Meathead and loved to see Archie get his comeuppances. The fact that it was the first show to deal with serious issues in a humorous way was inspiring.
Funniest memory: Archie getting extremely aggravated at Michael, because he got dressed sock shoe, sock shoe, instead of sock sock, shoe, shoe.
*****
4. The Office – (NBC, 2005–present)
IMBD description: A mockumentary on a group of typical office workers, where the workday consists of ego clashes, inappropriate behavior, and tedium.
Why I laughed so hard: Michael Scott could be the single funniest character in TV history! How 30 Rock keeps winning the Emmy over The Office is a tremendous injustice. Dwight, Kevin, Phyllis, Creed, what more can I say?
Funniest memory: Michael's speech on the “Booze Cruise” that led to someone jumping overboard. Actually any speech by Michael to his staff, whether the subject is sexual harassment or stealing office supplies.
*****
5. The Larry Sanders Show - (HBO, 1992-1998)
IMBD description: A comedic behind the scenes look at a late night talk show.
Why I laughed so hard: This was the first truly hysterical cable series that broke through the barriers erected by network comedies. The portrayal of Larry's, Artie's, and Hank's insecurities bouncing off one another was both revealing and very, very funny.
Funniest memory: Any attempt by Hank “Hey Now” Hank Kingsley to make money outside of the show, such as endorsing various products or opening his rotating restaurant.
*****
6. The Phil Silvers Show (Sergeant Bilko) – (CBS, 1955-1959)
IMBD description: Sgt. Ernie Bilko is the ultimate con man. He runs the motor pool at a small Kansas US Army Camp.
Why I laughed so hard – I always watched this show with my father and brother, and we used to kid my dad that he looked like Private Doberman. Bilko's various money-making schemes and his buttering up of Colonel Hall's wife always broke me up.
Funniest memory: The episode “The Twitch,” in which Bilko creates a pool on how many times a boring guest speaker will twitch during her speech was probably my favorite and funniest episode on any show ever!
*****
7. The Honeymooners – (CBS, 1955-56) (Originally a sketch on various Jackie Gleason variety shows)
IMBD description: A bus driver and his sewer worker friend struggle to strike it rich while their wives look on with weary patience.
Why I laughed so hard: The interplay between bus driver Ralph Kramden and sewer worker Ed Norton has never been topped by any duo on any show since. While most other sit-coms in this era took place in white suburbia, the Kramdens lived in a spartan Brooklyn tenement.
Funniest memory: About to win the top prize on a quiz show, Gleason's Kramden fails to know the name and author of the song “Swanee River,” which Norton always used to warm up with on the piano whenever they practiced.
*****
8. The Mary Tyler Moore Show - (CBS, 1970-1977)
IMBD description: The lives and trials of a young single woman and her friends, both at work and at home.
Why I laughed so hard: Simply the fact that was a tremendously well-written and acted show. All of the characters surrounding Mary were funny and unique, especially Rhoda, Phyllis, Lou, and the wonderful announcer, Ted Baxter.
Funniest memory: Mary breaking out in uncontrollable laughter at the funeral of Chuckles the Clown. You had to be there.
*****
9. Weeds (HBO, 2005-present)
IMBD description: Comedy about a suburban mother turned marijuana dealer.
Why I laughed so hard: I didn't say these were the best or funniest sit-coms ever, just my favorites. And there is something about the absurd wackiness of this show that is so unbelievable, I can't stop chuckling while watching it.
Funniest memory: Kevin Nealon's character Doug goes to a marijuana festival and “researches” various strains of pot. I don't know, this episode just struck my funny bone.
*****
10. The Bob Newhart Show – (CBS, 1972-1978)
IMBD description: The professional and personal misadventures of a psychologist and his family, patients, friends and colleagues.
Why I laughed so hard: In the 1970s, this show completed the best night of comedies in history. It was the real “Must see TV,” as people all over America stayed home on Saturday nights to watch Archie, Mary, and Bob. Newhart's dry wit played perfectly against his whacky patients, especially when they did group therapy.
Funniest memory: Any scene involving Mr. Carlin, the paranoid, neurotic patient who was insecure and hostile, yet extremely lovable.
Overall, putting together this list was harder than I thought it would be. I have to give Honorable Mention mentions to the following: I Love Lucy, Mash, The Odd Couple, The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (mainly because I had a mad teen age crush on Tuesday Weld's Thalia Menninger), and Car 54 Where are You? And finally, the short-lived but brilliant HBO show Lucky Louie.

Wall Street Analysts Misinterpret Back-to-school Sales Plunge

This week the financial world reported that retail stores posted very weak back-to-school sales, especially for the teenage market.
Naturally they blamed the drop in sales, which was even larger than what was predicted by Wall Street analysts, on the economy.
I think the experts got it wrong, although certainly the economy did not help the situation.
But I believe the plunge in back-to-school clothing sales is more a product of changing tastes by young people today.
When most of us were growing up, August was a time when our parents would drag us to local clothing or department stores to buy our crisp new school clothes. Actually my parents literally had to drag me, and I have a feeling most boys probably had to be forced to go shopping. I am not sure that “dragging” was an appropriate word for young girls, who probably enjoyed shopping for new clothes.
Anyway, in the last few years things have changed. My brother has owned a clothing store that has catered to young people for 33 years. From the late 1970s until recent years, the back-to-school weeks were his busiest time of year, even out- selling the Xmas season.
Today, the back-to-school sales comprise less than 25 percent of what he sells during the holiday season. In fact this year he told me there really wasn't even a back-to-school season.
Sure the economy is a factor. But I assert that the main reason for the drop off in clothing sales is that young people dress far more casually than they did just a few years ago. In fact not only is casual in, but so is “extreme” casual.
Teens and “tweens” often get their fashion clues from watching television, and on the various shows on Nickelodeon, the Disney Channel, or even MTV, they see the Hannah Montanas and their friends wearing baggy shirts and ripped jeans.
I spoke with two friends who teach high school, and both reported that the switch to very casual dress has increased tremendously just in the past two years. One teacher said he would be surprised if boys return to school this month wearing any new clothes. “They will probably be wearing the same torn jeans, baggy shirts, and scuffed sneakers they wore all summer,” he told me, adding “When it's prom time, many boys have to rent shoes, because all they own are sneakers.”
The trend towards wearing the loose fitting jerseys of sports teams has also picked up, as adolescent boys copy what they see on award shows such as the MTV Video Awards and the Teen Choice Awards, where celebrities show up sporting such outfits.
Another teacher told me that the move to very casual dress has even spread to adolescent girls, and he said it is not uncommon to see girls coming to school wearing loose fitting pajamas! “It's like a sleepover sometimes,” he said, further reporting that some girls actually wear slippers to school.
“It's like they just rolled out of bed and came to school,” he added, and he was serious.
Both teachers emphasized that this trend is not a class thing, as even kids who come from wealthier families, and who used to wear more expensive, dressy clothes for school have gone casual. That fact is backed up by recent sales reports, as one of the stores known for selling the most trendy, fashionable clothes, Abercrombie & Fitch, reported a 29 percent drop in sales last month from last August, which was a much larger drop than expected.
All I can say is that times certainly have changed. I can imagine my parents' reaction if I had told them I was going to school wearing my Roy Rogers pajamas.

'For Better or For Worse' One Year Later

It was a year ago this week that the comic strip “For Better or For Worse” ended…sort of.
After 29 years of drawing a “semi-autobiographical” account of her family, cartoonist Lynn Johnston decided to end the strip's story-line with the wedding of daughter Elizabeth to her old high school flame Anthony.
I wrote an article celebrating the end of the strip and somewhat questioned Lynn's decision to continue the strip starting from the beginning. Her plan was to retell their story from the beginning with updated drawings and story lines, which she labeled "new-runs."
I questioned the decision and actually wrote “I doubt that I will follow it with the same interest and passion that I have invested in ‘FBOFW' over the past 29 years. But we shall see.”
Well, a year has passed, and I have to admit that I am thoroughly enjoying the “new-runs.” In fact Lynn had me the very first day of the “new-runs,” when Michael begged his mother to buy him a puppy. Knowing that his mother would eventually give in and that the beloved sheepdog Farley would be the puppy was somewhat exhilarating!
And in today's strip, it is the first day of school and Michael discovers that a girl whose family had moved away has returned to be in his first grade class. And yes, long-time followers of “FBOFW” know that in about 20 years or so, he and Deanna Sobinski will be re-united through a serious car accident.
And Michael will visit her in the hospital, and they will fall in love, eventually marry, and have two children together, Meredith and Robin. And their apartment will catch on fire, and they will eventually move back into the Patterson's family house in which Michael grew up, and they will buy the house when his parents decide they want to retire and down-size.
I don't know why I find this all so fascinating, but I do, and I am sure that many other loyal readers of “FBOFW” got a bit “verklempt” today when the teacher announced that Deanna had returned to Michael's class.
It has also been fascinating to watch Michael constantly teasing younger sister Elizabeth, knowing how close they become when they grow up. This must be very comforting to many parents of younger children who are being driven crazy by their kids constantly tormenting one another.
Perhaps the reason I am enjoying these “new-run” strips so much is that they almost have a “Lost” quality to them, as I watch past events occur that I know will impact future events.
Now all that has to happen is for Benjamin Linus or Daniel Faraday to show up in the strip in a few years to warn daughter April not to play near the river behind their yard, so she doesn't have to be saved by family dog Farley, who loses his life in the process!

A Guide to Surviving 'Survivor'

I am a self-proclaimed expert on the CBS show “Survivor,” having watched every episode of the show's 18 seasons and having also participated in many “Survivor” fantasy pools.
So with the 19th season kicking off on Thursday, Sept. 17, I thought I would offer some tips to help readers figure out who might have the best chance of lasting the longest on “Survivor Samoa” this season.
Rlated Stories
And for people interested in someday being on the show, print out this guide and keep it in your back pocket for when you reach whatever island or far away land Jeff Probst sends you to:
* Don't be too big and strong. It will help you in the earlier days, but right around the time of the merge you will be labeled as a threat to win the individual challenges, and you will be voted off.
* Fly under the radar around camp. Don't give orders or tell others what to do. You will annoy people; never be labeled as a leader.
* Keep very busy around the camp and try and perform some task that others don't like doing, like rising early and building a fire or catching fish. That way you are deemed useful to your tribe, and not labeled as lazy.
* If you are young, try and befriend some of the older people and vice versa.
* Smile pleasantly and nod your head positively when people talk to you, even when you think what they are saying is absolutely idiotic.
* Don't trip or fall or do something blatantly stupid that causes your tribe to lose challenges. BUT if you do, don't make excuses, admit it was your fault and apologize.
* If someone else blatantly causes your tribe to lose a challenge, don't blame them. Instead put your arm around their shoulders and tell them its okay. You will then have a friend to the end.
* If you are very attractive and sexy, wear as few clothes as possible and flirt with all the members of the opposite sex. But don't hook up with one person, no matter how attractive you find him or her. In fact flirt with the least attractive people, who will feel blessed that you even noticed them.
* Never start an alliance or ask others to join you in an alliance. But whenever someone asks you to join their alliance, say that you would be very happy to, even if you wind up a member of several alliances.
* Don't be labeled a complainer, a whiner, or a malcontent. If something happens to tick you off, just keep it to yourself. When a malcontent complains to you, just nod your head in agreement.
* If you don't feel well or stub a toe, but you really want to stay in the game, don't walk around moaning and groaning. Try and keep your aches and pains to yourself.
* Don't brag about any personal wealth or possessions back home. Make it seem like you really could use the million dollar first prize, but that you are not obsessed by it.
* Talk about your family back home, brag about your wonderful parents, siblings, or children, and every once in a while (but not too often) tear up as you speak of how much you miss them.
* If you find an immunity idol, don't tell anyone, and don't be afraid to use it. I am always amazed that people tell others they found the idol and then are shocked when they are voted off.
* If you win an award challenge and have the opportunity to take someone with you to a native feast, don't always pick the same person. If you notice that someone is really hungry select that person, even if you are not close to him or her.
* Remember “Survivor” is just a game, so don't let any betrayal push you over the edge.
* If you make it to the final four, it's time to decide whether playing an “honest” game or winning the first prize is the most important thing to you. Once you make that decision, don't vacillate back and forth.
* Basically it's best to play an honest game UNTIL the end. If winning is your ultimate goal, that's probably the best time to backstab your friends. Everyone will forgive you on the reunion show anyway.
Finally, looking over these suggestions I think that this guide (except for my last point of course) might be useful to anyone who wants to survive in the game of life, not just on a reality television show.

My 'Mad Men' Martini Lunch

Yesterday I read an article in USA Today, and the realization of why I flubbed a job interview 40 years ago hit me like a ton of bricks.
The article involved an interview with Jerry Della Femina, who was labeled “the veteran ad exec widely regarded as one of Madison Avenue’s biggest personalities, most creative thinkers and an over-the-top publicity seeker.”
The interview focused on asking Femina to compare the AMC series “Mad Men” with real Madison Avenue ad agencies of the 1960s.
The first question that USA Today marketing reporter Bruce Horowitz posed was “Did ad agency executives really drink that often - and that much - in the 1960s.”
And Femina responded that “Mad Men” actually “underplays” the drinking that took place.
“Three-martini lunches were the norm,” he said.
I immediately flashed back to the spring of 1967. I was a senior Journalism major at Ohio State University, and recruiters from Benton & Bowles advertising agency visited one of my classes. We were told that Benton & Bowles was one of the hottest and most prestigious agencies on Madison Avenue. They interviewed several of us, and soon thereafter I was invited to come to New York and interview for a copy writing position.
Boy was I excited! Dreams of casting young hot models for the commercials I would be writing danced through my head.
They flew me to NY, put me up at a fancy hotel, and the next day I found myself totally overwhelmed by the glamorous, well-appointed offices of a Madison Avenue ad agency. Yes, it did resemble Sterling Cooper, at least that is how I remember it.
In a brief interview that morning, I was asked what my post-graduation plans were and whether I was eligible for any type of draft deferment. Remember, the Vietnam War was raging, and what to do about the draft was on the mind of all young men (and many prospective employers) those days. I told them my plans were totally up in the air.
What I remember most about the trip, however, was lunch. I don’t recall the name of the restaurant, but I know it was high up in a NY skyscraper, with a fantastic view of the city. Now even today I am not much of a drinker, but back then most of my drinking had been limited to swilling down pitchers of 3.2 (low alcohol) beer in bars on High Street, across from the OSU campus.
I really don’t recall what I ate for lunch, but I do remember that shortly after we sat down, my very first martini was placed in front of me, without my ordering it. I was told to drink up, and I managed to finish it. A few moments later a second martini appeared, and I remember taking a few sips of that one.
To be honest, the rest of the day is a total blur. I know I took various oral and written “tests” of my creativity and writing skills in the afternoon following lunch. But I really have no memory whatsoever of what I was asked.
About a week later I received a letter at my apartment in Columbus, Ohio. It was from Benton & Bowles, and it said that they had decided not to offer me a job, stating one of the reasons was the possibility of the Army drafting me right after graduation.
That reason always sounded a bit fishy to me. But now I know the real reason I didn‘t get the job. Obviously I failed the three-martini lunch test!